A Deeper Love for Others

Not to long ago I wrote about the difficulty of 'loving others' as Christ as called us to love them. The question in it all was "how do I love some people when I don't even like them?"
Well I shared a very valuable key for all of us in exactly "HOW" we can do that.
Here's a link to that blog to discover that key: Sep. 5th blog entry

Today I'd like to push that a little further.........

I love this city! I am so grateful the Lord has planted my family and I here. I also recoginize that there are so many people in our city who do not know Christ as Lord and Savior.
They just don't. They're walking blindly throughout the streets of the city, in stores, at the gas station, sitting in the stands of High School football games, living next door to us in the suburbs........ everywhere.
It breaks my heart.

When I read the statistics of our city (Houston) I discover that 50% of the people who live here attend church services.
Now I guess that's supposed to be a LARGE number. This is the 'South' right? Aren't we a part of the Bible Belt? I thought the # would be higher.....
So with a little research I find that other cities rank much lower - here's a link:
State of the States

You see to me that's not acceptable!
I can't stand the thought of 50% in my city do not have a real relationship with Christ.
I'm not even gonna venture down the road of the 50% church attenders who really consider themselves true Christ followers okay.
The thought of HALF, half of the millions of people in this city will spend eternity apart from Christ if the world were to end today.
It breaks my heart.

So what can we do..........?

The answer folks is to PRAY.

To pray for the 50% Pray that they will come to know the loving grace of Jesus Christ.

So will you join me in praying for them.
Here's something that helps me.... Every time I go into downtown or pass by our beautiful skyline just driving along a freeway, it prompts me to pray for all those I mentioned earlier. Maybe now, it will prompt you to as well :)

4 Prayers to pray over your Children right now

Concluding Love Powered Parenting I realize that when it comes to parenting, for some of you it’s going well.  Others of you, you think it’s going well but it’s not, you’re going to find out pretty soon.  Some of you you’re not sure what to do next.  Some of you, you’re ready to pull your hair out.  Some of you feel that way.  You feel all different ways.  So let’s do something about it right now.  We’re going to pray our way through this.

 In your mind pray this: 

Lord, help us to work together.  

As adults in this child’s life, as parents, parents and friends, parents and family, help us to work together for the best, for the good in their life.

If we’re going to work together it’s going to take what Romans 15:5 talks about.  It’s going to take unity.  That verse says “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus.”

That’s what we’re working together for.  “Lord help us to work together.”  If we’re not working together it’s obviously not going to be for their best.  

The truth of the matter is, we all know this, this is true with our kids from the moment they’re born.  The goal of your child is to divide and conquer you as parents.  They want to make sure they get you disagreeing because the minute you disagree they start to win.  Their goal is to divide and conquer.  Your goal as parents is to partner and prevail.  That is what you want to see happen.  

If you’re a single parent that means you’ve got to have other people in your life.  Other family, other single parents.  Whether you’re a single parent or not, you can’t do this alone.  We need other people.  If you try to do this alone, they will wear you down.  No doubt about it.  You may think “I’m smarter than they are.”  But they have more energy and more time than you do.  They’re going to wear you down!  You’ve got to partner together as husband and wife.  Or partner together with other friends, other family in raising this kid.

But also you’ve got to partner together with other people in our church.  Being part of a church family is one of the most important things you could do for your family.  We’re working together to raise our kids, with the same values, same hope, same faith, same love.  In fact, it’s important for your children and it’s important for you.  Being part of a church family is important for them and it’s important for you.

Then pray, Lord, give them the right friends.  

The Bible clearly tells us what some of us already know from experience:  

1 Corinthians 15:33 says ‘Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

  

The Bible says the people that we spend time with are going to influence our character for good or for bad.  So it’s so important what friends our kids are hanging out with.

We all know this.  I’ve heard parents talk about it over and over and over.  I’ve heard parents fret about it and stew about it a lot.  That’s the temptation for all of us.  What we need to be doing is praying.  We need to be praying that they will have the right friends.  

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”  

We need to be praying that our kids will have friends that will encourage them and build them up and that they will BE a friend that will encourage and build up others. 

One of the tough things that is hard to admit during the teen years is that we are no longer the number one influence of the daily decisions in our kids’ lives.  For instance, how many of you have teenagers that say, that’s the way mom and dad dress – that’s the way I want to dress.  Or, that’s the music and the movies that mom and dad listen to – that’s what I want to listen to.  

No.  It doesn’t work out that way.  It drives us crazy.  We want to be the number one influence in every decision of their life.  But it doesn’t work that way in the teenage years.  

The truth is you may not be the number one influence in their daily decisions, but you are still the number one influence in their life.  You can still be.  

One of the things you have to be intentional about is spending time with them and their friends; you try to be around them. Some of you are looking at me like, you don’t understand.  This is the thing that they don’t want – for me to be around them and their friends.  

I understand that.  So we’ve got to be strategic about this.  I’m not saying you interject yourself into every situation, but be available. Be available for:

rides, 

to host a part - kids will come for free food, 

go to their games, 

chaperone their field trips, 

go to orientation. - I know you’ve heard it all at the zillion orientations you went to before but go. It’s not about what you know it’s about them knowing that you came. They pay attention. In the love languages book we talked about last week it falls under the ‘gift of self’ category. You don’t have to do anything when you’re they, say anything, they probably won’t even sit with you but they’ll know you cared enough about them to come. Period. That will likely define much of your teenage years with your kiddo - just be there.

Lord, teach them your wisdom.

There are a number of ways God gets his wisdom into our lives.  Deuteronomy 4:9 talks about one of the most powerful ways we learn God’s wisdom.  It says “Be very careful never to forget what you have seen the Lord do for you.  Do not let these things escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and your grandchildren.”

One of the ways we learn wisdom is through telling the stories of what God has done.  What God’s done in our life.  Telling the stories of the times when I’ve trusted him and telling the stories of the times when I haven’t trusted him, and I’ve found him still to be faithful.  When you tell the stories of what God has done, people learn wisdom.  Your kids have the opportunity to learn wisdom.

For us a couple of the major stories would be the story about how God brought us to Texas - we never saw this coming. Or the story of how God healed Cathleen of degenerative disc disease when she was 22... or the story of how God healed her heart after her miscarriage by gifting us with Allison. Just remembering those things.

So what is it for you?  What are the stories for you?  How has God worked in your life?  Think about it.  Sometimes we just let it go.  We need to go back ourselves.  Then tell your kids.  Maybe you’ve told them before, but just keep telling them and telling them and telling them. Tell them till their eyes roll, and then you’ve accomplished your goal.

We learn wisdom through telling stories of what God’s done.  Another way that we learn wisdom is through discipline.  We learn wisdom through the discipline of the circumstances of life, through the discipline of our parents.  We can’t talk about parenting without talking about discipline.  

When we talk about discipline, you have to remember God disciplines us as well.  He allows the circumstances of our life to teach us lessons about life.  The Bible says in Proverbs 3:12 “The Lord corrects those he loves, as parents correct a child of whom they are proud.”  

It would be awesome if I could learn wisdom just by reading a book.  But you know in your own life much of the wisdom, the great wisdom that you have is through a mistake that you made and the lesson you learned through that mistake.  If we could learn wisdom just by somebody sitting down and saying, let me tell you what I learned, none of us would ever make mistakes.  But all of us make mistakes because we learn wisdom through experience.  We learn wisdom through the discipline of life.  

We actually learn wisdom through pain.  That’s what the discipline is.  When discipline brings some kind of pain in our lives and for our teenagers, the pain of a loss of something, the pain of circumstance not turning out the way they wanted it to, that pain creates wisdom.

How do you get that wisdom?  Through pain. 

So for your teenage student, they’re going to get wisdom sometimes as you take privileges away from them.  They’re going to get wisdom sometimes as you have to have a long talk with them.  The last thing they want is to have a long talk with you.  It’s a great pain inducer in their lives.

But let us just talk about one particular area.  As they get older, more and more of the wisdom, the discipline they get isn’t going to come through you.  It’s going to come through the natural consequences in life of some mistake they’ve made, something they haven’t done and some other adult is going to be involved.  Some teacher, some coach, someone else.  This can be tough for us as parents.  It can be tough to allow the natural consequences for their actions to occur in their lives.

The problem is we want to rescue. Now I know that sometimes our kids may have been severely wronged and they actually need rescuing.  But most of the time it’s that we need to just step back and support them, encourage them, but let them face those natural consequences. If your kid is tardy for A period because he was just too slow getting out of the house and this is the tardy that will result in some kind of consequence like; detention or whatever and you get a call from the school office that says something like, ‘Hey, this is Carol in the attendance office and I just wanted to touch base with you. Your kiddo was late today and this is the “big one”. Without a note from you, we will end up issuing a detention so I just wanted to see if he was with you and you guys were just in a hurry and forgot the note or should I go ahead and set up the detention?’ - what’s your response? Or you see your daughter’s homework on the table after she’s left for the day. It’s gonna be a zero. She’s gonna loose a privilege in class. Do you take it to her or not? Don’t get me wrong. I know that there are times that we help. But there are more often times that what we think is helping is really hurting because they aren’t learning from their mistakes. 

The truth is that none of us want our kids to get burned. But it’s better to have a little burn that heals and to have learned from that experience than to have long term damage from something. Make sense? In the midst of all of this be praying that they will learn wisdom sooner rather than later. 

We certainly don’t know all the answers or all the reasons even for the hurt that you’re now facing with one of your kids.  We do know how much it hurts.   

But I do know that you don’t find the strength to parent in yourself.  And God’s willing to give you a strength that’s above and beyond yourself.  I do know that God’s grace and goodness will take you through this season like he’s taken you through every season.  And I do know you don’t have to face this alone.  You parent together with Jesus, you parent together with others.

That’s what God does for us.   As you do it you ask him to give you rest when you’re weary.  God, carry this burden that’s too great for me to bear.  Help me to receive your encouraging strength.  You pray, Lord, give them your wisdom, even in this mistake that they’re making.  I’ve learned wisdom through mistakes, you’ve learned wisdom through mistakes.  God, even in the mistakes that they’re making let the other end of this be that they learn wisdom through this.

Then there’s a fourth prayer that you and I can pray together, 

Lord help me to let go.  

Help me to let go.  You have to especially pray this prayer during the teenage years but actually this starts from the moment they’re born.  At the beginning, you hold them in your arms and they can’t go anywhere.  But pretty soon you have to let go and they’re crawling around on the floor.  Then you have to let go and they’re walking around outside.  Then you have to let go and they’re walking down a hall on their first day of kindergarten.  You have to let go and all of a sudden they’re in a car driving off to high school.  You have to let go and they’re on a jet plane flying off to college.

This is the process of parenting, it’s this process of letting go.  In one sense, it never ends.  Let’s just be honest about that.  

It’s hard.  It’s just hard to let go.  Sometimes it’s a matter of perspective.  I have Jessica in my house for about 10-11 more months. That’s it. Then she’s off to college. Am I releasing my children to this big scary world?  Or am I releasing her into God’s plan for her life? 

That’s the difference.  Who are we releasing them to?  What if my child isn’t following God?  They’re going toward the world.  

God’s still in control.  God knows them.  They may not be pursuing God but he’s pursuing them.  And he loves them even more than you do.

Psalm 139 “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.  You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”

What your child is going through right now is no surprise to God.  What they’re going to face in the next five, ten, fifteen years of their lives, God already knows.  God already knows exactly the choices they’re going to make, good and bad.  And he’s going to be there for them.  We can release our kids to his care.

So praying our way through this, just one more time in your mind, just pray through these things in your mind.  For your kids, for some teenager that you know, some parents that you know.  Lord, help us to work together; Lord, give them the right friends; Lord, give them your wisdom; and, Lord, help us to let go.

I want to end this by praying for our kids.  Praying, if you’ve got a teenager in your home, pray this for your kids.  If you don’t have a teenager in your home, you may not even be a parent,  I want to encourage you to pray this for some teenager in your life.  Somebody in your family, somebody who lives on your block.  

 One of the great ways to pray is to pray Scripture back to God.  The Bible is God’s will.  So when you’re praying Scripture you know you’re praying God’s will every single time.  

Father, help my child to understand what you want them to do; make them wise about spiritual things; and let the way they live always please and honor you, so that they will always be doing good, kind things for others, while all the time they are learning to know you better and better.  I am praying, too, that they will be filled with your mighty, glorious strength so that they can keep going no matter what happens—always full of the joy of the Lord, and always thankful to the Father who has made us fit to share all the wonderful things that belong to those who live in the Kingdom of light.  

From Colossians 1:9-12 (TLB)

It can be easy to 'not like' people sometimes huh? If Jesus told us we are love others..... does that mean I have to like them?

If you spend enough time with people eventually they will start to get on your nerves......
Heck, it may not even take any time at all for you to roll your eyes at a specific person while under your breath saying, "Gimmie a break."

Football season is upon us. America loves it's Football. By far the most watched and enjoyed sport in this country. So with the start of the season out come the crazed & outlandish fans screaming and posting on Facebook how their team is the best and your team is lousy.

It's pretty humorous to me, bordering on ridiculous - don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of my teams and I want them to win.... I just don't have the urge to tell other people that their team is going to be lousy, even if they are or aren't.

Which takes me back to annoying people.
If Jesus told us we are love others..... does that mean I have to like them?

This all began when Jesus was answering the Pharisees, the chief religious sect of that day, when they asked Him about the greatest commandment in the Law.
So He says, "Love God with everything in you, I mean all that you have and love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:36-40 - my paraphrase)

Jesus was summing up all the law in these two statements. If we love the Lord God with everything in you, all that you've got, then loving our neighbor is the natural result.
The question then is, who is our neighbor, and how do we love him or her?

Our neighbor is much more than the guy next door. It's anyone in the neighborhood, anyone in the community for that matter. To make it real simple..... it's anybody you come in contact with.

So how are we to love them?
How do you love yourself? You take pretty good care of yourself don't you? I mean you are 'very high' on your priority list.
Now I have to say, don't feel bad like I'm trying to bring a little humility into your life.... hahaha - really we all feel that way.... it's just natural to place ourselves high on our own priority list.
So... if I'm supposed to love others as I love myself.... taking care of them, thinking about them, wanting the best for them seems fine until I remember....
I DONT LIKE some folks!!!!!
Some people are rude, nasty, mean, and couldnt care less about me............
How in the world do I love THOSE people?

When we love the Lord God with everything in us, with all that we've got, we grow to recognize that everyone is part of His creation.
And God loves all creation and wants all creation with Him for eternity.
In reality folks "Love your neighbor" is not as hard as it looks on the surface.

You wanna know the secret?.................
It begins with your relationship with Jesus Christ.
Your relationship with Jesus Christ is the KEY.

If you are truly developing and cultivating a real relationship with Jesus Christ then you already know how easy it is to love the mean, nasty, unlovable people that you know or run across from time to time.
Your relationship with Jesus Christ is the key.

Are you ready for the real tough question.............?
If there are people who annoy you so, make you angry, fill your mind with hateful thoughts towards them....
Do you love them? Do you? I didn't say "like" them - I'm not talking about hanging out with them every weekend. But do you love them? Do you pray for them? For their own lives to get better and improve (like you pray for yourself and your family).
Do you long for them to know Christ themselves so they to will spend eternity in heaven?

Okay that wasn't even the tough question.... that was easy.
'Cause if they're are people in your heart that you can't stand. I mean you really despise them and you wish they would fall off the earth and be gone forever and your thoughts are if they spend eternity in Hell apart from God forever then thats their own fault for living the life they've chosen......... if that's how you feel then the tough question is.........
Wouldn't that make you question your relationship with Jesus Christ?

"For God so loved the WORLD...." that includes everyone right.

Here's the final thought: People matter to God, therefore people matter to me"

What do you think?


"We should be happy that [Jesus] did not say, 'Like your enemies.' It is almost impossible to like some people." --Martin Luther King Jr.

What do Kids need from Their Parents?

This is always such a prevailing question isnt it.... 

What do Kids need from Their Parents?

I know you think the quick & easy answer is money..... "Why yes I do, my children are always asking if I have any money? Yeah I DO." Oh dont you dare your ask your children "why?" Oh if you ask why it's 98% probable you're gonna regret asking that question.

"Well me and sissy (your oldest daughter replies) wanted to head over to the mall to look around, maybe get a pedi & a mani, possibly get a bite to eat and who knows maybe catch a movie."
Your simple response.... "how much money were you thinking you wanted?"
"Oh I dont know... maybe $100 (at that moment sweat beads begin to form & that ugly vein on the side of your neck starts bulging out as your face gets redder and redder... then she concludes her sentence) ........each."
"Each! did you say Each? Each, no way! I thought $100 was too much to share between the 2 of you." You respond at a bit higher octave.
"Oh ok" she says, "We'll share $100."
As you hand her the money you begin wandering to yourself ..... mmmm.... was that their plan all along????

Maybe......

Regardless of how moments like that may occur more often than not, Money is NOT the answer. So what do they need from us? 

The first one I want you to write down, it’s very important.  What kids need is belief.  

Actually your belief in the value of being a parent.  It is essential.  The belief in the value of being a parent.  If you don’t believe that you play a significant role in helping kids understand and embrace purpose & fulfillment in life then you’re in trouble.  You’re a significant player & if you dont believe this then you will become nothing more than a shift manager at your own bed and breakfast.  

My dream is that some day those of us that have relationship with God and we understand this big picture and we understand that kids are a gift from God that when somebody asks us what we do for a living, we wouldn’t put the value of our paycheck higher than the value of our parenting.  Because we always answer with what we do for a career.  Subconsciously, in our world, we’ve taken the value of parenting and pushed it down.  

What if the next time someone asks you what you do for a living you say, “That’s easy.  I’m in charge of socializing two homo sapiens in the dominant values of the Judao-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments in the transformation of the social order into the teleological described utopian inherent in the echelon that God prescribed.”  Then, after you say that, you say, “And what do you do?  Just a lawyer?”

Folks, I wanted to start with this one because it’s big.  If you don’t believe in the value of your role as a parent you won’t value your role as a parent.  And the consequences of your unbelief will sabotage your kids.  That’s a biggie.

The second thing I want you to write down that kids need is they need presence.  

I know there’s another way to spell this – with a T and that’s what most of them want.  But there’s also another way to spell it – like this: TIME.  One of the major contributing factors to healthy kids points back to present parents in their life.  

Let me tell you something I’ve learned from kids.  Parents, they’d much rather have your presence than your money.  They’d much rather have your time than your career.  

Presence matters.

And actually this idea of presence, this is a biggie to God.  Think about this, theological framework is that God’s presence started all this.  God’s presence brought all this into being.  Then God said, I want them to know Me so much that I’m going to go to earth and be present.  That is Jesus.  John 1:14 says God became flesh and lived here among us.  Then if you’re a Christian if you’ve said yes to God, you’ve stepped across the line and opened your heart to God and said I want You to be Lord, the CEO, the president of my life and God resides in you, what happens?  He gives you His Holy Spirit.  As it says in 2 Timothy 1:4 “With the help of the Holy Spirit who lives within us.”  notice the “within us.”  Meaning God’s presence is with us.  Presence is a big deal to God.  Because we have God’s Spirit in us it can help us be better at being present in our relationships.  

Let’s go practical here.  Let me give you some things to at least think about.  

First, you have to consider your personal sacrifices.

What’s something you’re currently doing that is taking time away from your kids?  

What might you need to sacrifice so that your kids aren’t sacrificed?

Here’s another one to write down that I think you ought to consider.  Career sacrifices.  

What’s something you are doing in your career that you don’t need to be doing to survive? 

Here’s another one.  This one’s going to push your buttons.  

You ditch the cell phone in the car with your kids.  

I recently made a commitment to do this.  I’m not pretending this is easy.  But a lot of you, you get in the car and you think you’re with your kids.  You’re not with them, you’re on the phone.  When you’re by yourself, use up all your minutes!  Do all that.  But when you’ve got your kids in your car and you’re thinking, “We’re going to the game.  I took my kid to the game.”  No you didn’t you were on the phone talking the whole time.  You weren’t there.  When you’ve got your kid in the car turn the phone off.  There was life before mobile phones.  

What you don’t realize as a parent you have your kid trapped.  That is the time to talk and laugh and sing and point things out and if you have a teenager it’s the time to use one-word sentences.  Enjoy those moments.  Try it it’s not as easy as you think it might be to ditch the cell phone.  

Another one is focus, face them and give feed back.   

Your children need you, they really do need YOU.

They need you to believe that and be present.... really present.

Do You Have Money Issues?

Ever see Dave Ramsey billboards? Or listen to his talk show? He’s all about ridding yourself of debt - become debt free - budget well - build wealth & give as much as you can away - Cathleen and I have been thru his 13 week course, attended a live 1-day seminar... we like and believe and practice what he teaches.

Today I'd like to venture down that road of Putting God FIRST. I’m gonna be a bit bold and speak this to each of us, myself included and that is “If you’ve have a money problem, you have a God problem.”

Because God doesn’t have a money problem & I’m not a hyper-prosperity preacher, but I am a bible preacher.

...and God has no problem providing... If it’s His vision, He’ll provide the provision.

I have stated this about our church from the beginning... this church is God’s idea, not Joe or Cathleen’s  - His vision imparted to us therefore He’ll provide the provision for us.

If it’s His vision for you and your family to live debt-free, build wealth and give as much as you can away, He’ll provide the provision.

Exodus 13:1-2

“Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying,  “Consecrate to Me all the firstborn, whatever opens the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and beast; it is Mine.”

now down to vs. 12

“you shall set apart to the LORD all that open the womb, that is, every firstborn that comes from an animal which you have; the males shall be the LORD’s. But every firstborn of a donkey you shall redeem with a lamb; and if you will not redeem it, then you shall break its neck. And all the firstborn of man among your sons you shall redeem.”

In our talk today of Putting God FIRST,  the 1st fundamental truth we see is:

1. The Firstborn must be sacrificed or redeemed

Let me explain this, If your animal had a 1st born, if that animal was a clean animal, the 1st born had to be sacrificed. If it was an unclean animal it had to be redeemed w/ a sacrifice of a clean animal - you trackin w/ me - all the clean of the 1st born had to be sacrificed, and the unclean had to be redeemed w/ a sacrifice of the clean.

Let me ask you a very simple, theological question - were you born clean or unclean? - You were born unclean, all of us were born into sin, you don’t have to teach your children to be bad, right?

It comes naturally, some a little more than others...

So we were all born unclean... what about Jesus? clean or unclean? Clean - The Clean had to be sacrificed so that the unclean could be redeemed - if there were ever a time for you to say AMEN, this is about as good as a time there could be - I’ll say it again - The Clean had to be sacrificed so that the unclean could be redeemed.

You see this is a principle in God’s Word.. a fundamental truth - now this also works in our finances - the tithe belongs to God, like the 1st born belongs to God - so when we give the 1st, the 1st born of all our animals (or our source of income) the rest were redeemed & blessed - when we give the 1st of our fruits the rest is blessed - this is a principle

You see the tithe is much more than the 10% I know tithe means 10% but there’s more to it than that - it is giving the 1st to God.

It is putting God 1st in the area of your finances and every other area in your life - so the 1st born must be sacrificed. - here’s the 2nd 

2. The First Fruits must be Offered

“The first of the firstfruits of your land you shall bring into the house of the LORD your God.”  Exodus 23:19

“Honor the LORD with your possessions, And with the firstfruits of all your increase; 

So your barns will be filled with plenty, And your vats will overflow with new wine.”  

Proverbs 3:9-10 

Now I already know that many people are well aware of the principle of tithing - they know it, but I wonder, b/c of my past, in all the years I grew up in the church and were taught principles such as the tithe, I knew it, but it wasn’t in my heart.

I wasn’t living the principe day in & day out - there came a point in life where I had to have this heart change... so ... I could stand here today, not just as your pastor, but as a believer in God’s Word and every principle of truth.

Here’s what I know, if I can’t stand up here and teach it, where are people going to learn these truths? The Credit Card companies - don’t leave home w/out it - NO, the church, we have to disciple it.

The 1st fruits belong to God - Do you remember what God said about Jericho?  When the Israelites went into the Promised land God said give me all of the silver and gold from Jericho.

How could He say that?  Why didn’t He say give me 10%?

It’s very simple, b/c Jericho was the 1st city.

Here’s what God is saying, “You give me the 1st and the rest will be blessed.  That’s what tithing is

Some people have asked the question of Cain and Abel’s offering - why did God accept Abel’s offering but not Cain’s? I had always answered in the past, well... God looks at the heart and He saw the true meaning behind each offering - which is true but there’s more - there’s more when we understand the principle of the 1st fruits - let’s read this together:   Gen. 4:3-5

“And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the LORD. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the LORD respected Abel and his offering, 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering.”

One tills the ground, one tends sheep - Abel brought of the 1st born, Cain did not bring of the 1st fruits.... and God... sees this

see this here w/ Cain - God cannot accept an offering that’s not 1st - it’s just the leftovers.

He is the Creator of the Universe, He is before all & above all - He gets our 1st fruit - let me say it this way, if God plays 18 holes of golf, His score is 18 - He cannot hit the ball and it not go in the hole - He cannot do it - He will always be #1

So listen guys, the truth for us is we may be giving 10% and still not tithing - 

here’s the 3rd Fundamental Truth

3. The Tithe must be First

“And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD’s. It is holy to the LORD.”  Leviticus 27:30

Example: owner of a landscape business & did my backyard all nice and pretty. I paid them $1000 for it - now they have $1000 - how much is the tithe? $100

Which one is the tithe - 1st $100 - you’re saying that because you’re paying attention, that’s good - how do you know which one is the 1st one? the one on the left, middle, right?

It’s the 1st one that leaves your hand - it’s the 1st one you spend - so check this out - don’t give the tithe to the electric co.

The Electric co. doesn’t have the power to bless your finances - they can turn on the power to home and that’s it - what we need to get into our hearts is that God can to and a whole lot more - you trackin? - The 1st one we spend goes to God - now listen I’m not legalistic about this - any of you who know Cathleen and I know that we are far from legalistic - 

When we create the monthly budget in our home, the 1st line on top is the tithe - that is factored in 1st before anything else - it is the 1st check written before anything else. Now if we sit down and put this together and Cathleen went grocery shopping earlier in the day, I don’t say, “Oh that’s great honey, were cursed for a month” because you wrote a check to HEB before I could write the tithe check.

God is not a legalistic God - He looks at our heart - so the 1st one has to go to Him - so when people catch the principle of giving to God 1st, praying to God 1st in the morning, serving God 1st, asking God 1st about something instead of the dimwit in the next cubicle (how do we trust these people w/ our lives over God I’ll never figure that out) - spend time in His Word 1st before my show comes on @ 9 o’clock tonite - If we can get this down it will change our lives!

Putting God 1st

My Grandfather was an amazing man - He was a staff pastor for over 30yrs. all the while working in construction and raising a family including my mother.

I loved to talk bible with him - he’s a stubborn ol’ geezer that’s for sure, but the wisdom is unparalleled.

some time ago, We start talking about tithe, I say absolutely I give 10%  - you too right? I mean c’mon you give 10%? He said, well, no... no we don’t - I immediately begin breaking out the Word of God to show him what I’m talkin about  - he stops me after a while and says, ok, ok, ok if it means that much to you I’ll start giving 10% if it’s that important to you, I’ve been giving 25% but if it’s that important - and once again I come to a place I often find myself w/ the dunce cap on - the realization that my grandparents are much, much wiser than I.

My Grandparents are huge givers. They have lived a very modest lifestyle with plenty of money, but they just gave it away. Someone’s car is brokedown, they’d fix it, have it fixed or buy them another car. My grandfather has probably purchased 20 plus cars but not for himself - I wanna live like this - this is what Dave ramsey is talking about - this is what God is talkin about.

3 Levels of Giving in scripture:

Tithe

Offering 

Extravagant Offering

did you know they are 3 Levels of Giving in scripture:

Tithe

Offering 

Painful Offering

I remember early in my marriage we really didn’t have much money and our church was doing a capital fund raiser to purchase land w/ existing buildings that could be remodeled for church - they asked the congregation to pray about giving to that campaign in a 1 time pledge as well as monthly giving - 

Cathleen and I did not have much money and are praying about what we can give as a 1 time and monthly pledge - in our prayer we both believed that God asked us to give this crazy amount of money (atleast it was to us at that time in our lives) and we thought maybe He forgot how poor we were... so we asked again.... same thing though

So we just did it - we wrote the check and started think about what we were going to cut back on financially... no more food or electricity - I dont know - 

We were staff pastors at the church (not paid/volunteer) but we also were invited by other churches to come while they had week long revivals or one night special events and do children ministry for them so all their folks could attend the event - 

These churches would typically have a predetermined amount on a check already written for us - sometimes it could have been a ‘love offering’ that was taken for us - sometimes it was more of a ‘like offering’ or a ‘not like offering’ 

But after we wrote that check for our church fund-raiser we did the children’s min. during a Christmas party for another church.

They gave us check at the end of night, but the Pastor took that check & went away (to office I suppose) and came back with a different check - we it opened on our way home - it was exactly.... exactly that crazy amount God asked us to give in pledge.

God is amazing!

He blesses those who put Him FIRST - it’s a fundamental principle, 

a fundamental truth in God’s Word.

Do Children Really Need to Learn Responsibility?

Do kids need to develop responsibility? 

Well... if they don’t develop responsibility in life then none of these qualities are even possible...  Confidence, Character, Conviction, Compassion, & Competence if they don’t have responsibility.  Working with children, I see the lack of responsibility manifest itself in three primary ways.  They’re really easy to remember – ABC.  Watch for them.  

Where do you see the lack of responsibility?

A - Apathy.  “I don’t have to care about being responsible.”

B – Blame – “I don’t have to take responsibility because it’s never my fault.  It’s always his fault!”

C – the Care-for-me mentality.  “I’ve been cradled my entire life.  Someone else will figure it out.”

What do you think today’s generation of kids is going to tell their kids about today’s culture?  I don’t think it’s going to be like our parents told us about having to walk to school.  up hill, both ways, barefoot, in the snow, after milking the cows.  Right?  No.  I think today’s generation of kids are going to go, “Life is so tough!  One time my parents made me oversee the housecleaner.  And if I was hungry I had to go to the kitchen and speak directly to our dietitian.”  How do we as parents or significant adults in the life of kids, how do we breed irresponsibility?  How do we move them towards apathy and blame and the care-for-me mentality?

Apathy.  What do we do as parents?  We solve all their problems.  We’re always picking up for them, not making them do anything.  We make money too easy and not valuable enough.  So what kids have learned is that they don’t really need to do much, nor care.  That’s apathy.

Blame.  Why do kids always blame? How about this example: At a soccer game the referee stops the game and sends a girl off the field.  A sixteen year old girl because she had jewelry on.  She gets off the field and the coach jumps on her a little bit.  She replies, “It was the referee’s fault.  He’s supposed to check before the game!”  

Perfect!  What do we do as parents?  We tell our kids they do nothing wrong.  “Sweetheart, you got a bad grade in that class because your teacher just doesn’t know anything!”  or “Son, you’re not getting playing time on that team.  It’s not your fault.  You’re better than every kid on that team.  Your coach is just lame!”  or “Your ears are not big.  Kids call you Dumbo because they like Disneyland.”  Or whatever it might be.  

We tell our kids they do no wrong.

What about the Care-For-Me mentality?  The care-for-mentality happens when we as parents never force our kids to carry their own weight.  What happens is they haven’t moved from this infantile dependence to a healthy independence.  They need to carry their own weight.  That’s part of being a responsible human being.

Here’s the action step.  Allow consequences.  What if they forget their cleats?  Then they miss a game.  And in the scope of life that’s not that big a deal.  Chances are they’ll never do it again.  But when you bail them out all the time and they never take any responsibility for themselves, they’ll never experience any consequences.  

Proverbs 27:12 says “A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions.  The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”  Folks, when we don’t allow kids to experience fair and natural consequences they will remain a simpleton and they will never develop a sense of responsibility. 

So you tell me.... do we really need to teach our kids responsibility?

What does "Hurt" do to you?

When you're hurt by someone what do you do? Do you allow it to make you bitter.... or better? Remember it's your choice on the direction you move. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19

Amazing Night in Lafayette

As I am about to leave LA. gotta tell you about my 1st night - walking out to my car @ 6pm, in the lobby I recognize a man... it's my neighbor 2 doors down - he's on the phone, I say "hi" he says "I need to talk to you, my father-in-law just passed away, he was my best friend" he asked me to come back in 20min. after phone call - when i returned he was outside at a table mourning, sobbing loudly, I walked up put my hand on his shoulder why he continued.... eventually he calmed and I sat at the table with him for about an hour - we talked.... about anything - towards the end he was very appreciative that I sat with him during this difficult time.

How cool is our God!

That 2 neighbors not knowing that each other was going to be in Lafayette at the same hotel at the same time and tragedy strikes one of them who is absolutely alone and by way of the Sovereign God of the Universe, He orchestrates a friend to be in place during a time in need.
WOW!

STAND

If Jesus said, “Stand firm & you will gain life” - what does that mean exactly? Stand firm how? Stand firm why? and what’s the benefit or purpose of it all?
We’re going to talk about that today.
We do see people taking stands on issues around us all the time, don’t we? - we have any Ron Paul fans in the house?

Here’s someone taking a stand-look at this on the screen

Ron Paul supporter cited 4 times in Minn.
An 18-year-old Republican's enthusiasm for presidential hopeful Ron Paul could cost him more than $550.
Cody Hauer has been cited four times in one week for displaying a 13-inch-by-40-inch "Ron Paul Revolution" decal in the rear window of his car. The problem is that such decals are illegal if they obstruct the driver's view.
"I support Ron Paul, the city police department doesn't," he said. "They gave me a DWR — driving while Republican."
Hauer said he'll argue in court that the law violates his First Amendment right to free speech.
"To be honest, I'm probably not going to win, but I'm going to go down fighting," he said.

any of you ever had your order messed up in the drive-thru of some fast food joint?

Iowa man charged with Taco Bell chalupa assault
A man who claimed he didn't get the taco he paid for has been charged with assault for allegedly pelting a Taco Bell clerk in the face with a chalupa.
Nancy Harrison told police she was working the drive-through Thursday night when Christopher Lame, 24, ordered some food.
He later came into the store, complaining he didn't get the taco he had ordered, police records say. Harrison said that when she asked for a receipt, he went back to his car and brought back the bag.
Harrison said she told him the store was closing, and as she turned away, a chalupa hit her in the face near her right eye.

Now if Jesus said, “Stand firm & you will gain life” I do not believe He was speaking of incidents like these.
So what is Christ asking us to stand firm for?

1. The reason for standing is freedom.

Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

God asked us to stand to solidify what has already been done.
Jesus Christ gave His life for us. He was innocently condemned to death, but He did it for all of us, all of humanity. He was beaten & bruised for all our mistakes, screw-ups, and sin.
Nailed to a cross for our redemption. Listen, He died for our freedom and He is asking us to take a stand! To stand up for what he has done not only in our lives, but the lives every person on the face of this planet. That’s why we stand for Christ.

We stand for freedom, what Christ has already done.
How do we stand for Christ?

2. The requirement for standing is fierceness.
fierceness = wild determination, unrestrained zeal (now, don’t throw a chalupa in anybody’s face) how? bible tells us,

Ephesians 6:14-18 “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

a. The Belt of Truth - this is our foundation, it’s our character, & our integrity
b. The Breastplate of Righteousness - 2 types of Righteousness:
1. Inputed or given, when you gave your life to Christ, became a Christ-follower you were given the Righteousness
of Christ.
2. Chosen - it’s choosing to change & allowing God to work. choosing righteousness of our foundation, the Truth. choosing not to sin - not entering into corruptible convo - the things we take in, TV, movies, or substances, we choose righteousness.

c. The Gospel of Peace - shoes = surefooted - live a life of stability in Christ - this is what we display for the world to see. are you living a life of stability? or is it so full of ups and downs people really ? who you are or what you’re all about - do people know what you’re all about? or is it up in the air? This gospel of peace is surefootedness (i think i just made up a word) People see the peace of God front and center in your life.
d. The shield of Faith - The shield that Paul had in mind here is not the small, round buckler, but the oblong, door-like shield, measuring 4' x 2 ', curved to the shape of the body and carried by the Greek and Roman soldiers. When joined together, these large shields formed a wall behind which a body of troops could hide themselves from the rain of the enemy's missiles.
These military shields were made of wood, covered on the out- side with thick leather, which not only deadened the shock of the missile, but protected the frame of the shield from the fire-tipped darts used in the artillery of the ancients.
So, faith is the shield of the Christian soldier, defending him from the fierce attacks of the foe from within and without. The shield of faith is able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. This shield cannot be pierced or destroyed by the fiercest fires of hatred or malice. The arrows of the evil one, though flaming with cruelty, & intent to harm are stopped by the shield and extinguished.
We are to stand in faith! Our faith in God that regardless of whatever is thrown our way, marriage troubles, job or work difficulties, children driving you crazy... whatever it is we are facing... no matter how big it is... God is bigger! and we have faith He is sovereign, He is in control and will lead us out of the mess. So we stand w/ the shield of faith.
e. The Helmet of Salvation - Why? b/c while standing the battle is in your mind. protect it!
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and
holiness.” Eph. 4:22-24 How do we do that?
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Col. 3:2
The battle is in your mind, so put on the mind of Christ.


f. The Sword of the Spirit - what is the sword of the spirit?
1. Word of God. v.17 “sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God”
Again, the word of God is our foundation. W/ the word we can battle all the temptations of life - that’s why it’s so important to get in the Word daily - build up your offense against the enemy - Jesus tempted in wilderness - what did He model, what did He do to attack or battle temptation? The Word of God. read Matt. 4:1-11 at 11 the devil left Him. The devil left b/c Jesus broke out the sword of the spirit. Now check this out, if Satan went after Jesus, will he come after you? That’s why we need to get in the word daily to stand against him.
2. Prayer v18 “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” - we are to pray daily as well. pray what? read again - about everything
We are to stand in fierceness, wild determination. b/c you will be tempted. You will come under attack. You will face challenging dilemmas. Will you stand?
The requirement for standing is fierceness. wild determination, unrestrained zeal - we have many ex. of men & women in scrip. standing for God - Daniel, Stephen, Esther, Joshua, Caleb, Jonathan.... and we have many ex. today - how many of you remember April 20th, 1999? That was the day of the Columbine H.S. tragedy - it was also the day that when faced with a life and death ? regarding her belief in God, Cassie Bernall said YES.
Stood fierce - does it get any fiercer than that?
She was a Christ-follower who walked the talk (vid)

Just like Rach, Shac, & Benny - As they faced death for their belief in God - they said YES and then said,

“Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Dan. 3:16-18

That’s standing fierce! that’s walking the walk - we are to stand fierce why, b/c of freedom. To solidify what Christ has already done.

3. The results of standing is fullness

“Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; in no way alarmed by your opponents--which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God.” Philippians 1:27-28

a. Jesus gets the credit - we cannot stand on our own - it is only by the power of God. that’s what we share.
b. Enemies are destroyed - the temptations, the attacks that come our way, when life is beating you up - STAND - and the enemy will leave. The strongholds, the bondage, the enormous pressures you feel b/c you you just can’t get over the hump, can’t kick it - listen, when we stand now God is taking the reigns & He holds the key to destroy what is dragging us down.
c. You get to see the power of God - you get to see the supernatural take place, right in front of your eyes. - how many of you have stories you could share w/ us of God turning around what appeared to be an impossible situation, what appeared to be a dead-end in life, that He turned for good.
d. Other Lives will be affected
You get the benefit of becoming a Christ-like example for others.
We have no idea the number of lives that can & will be changed when we stand for Christ. As others see us standing, the H.S. begins to work in their lives in a whole new realm, b/c you stood for the Truth. Just like Cassie Bernall, just like many others in scripture, just like someone you may know.

I want to introduce someone to you that I know.
Angie Chandler
stood for Christ and has witnessed the results of standing in her life.
Will you please welcome Angie....

What an amazing story! What portrait of beauty! A Portrait that God wants to paint in each of our lives.

National Treasure by Cathleen Parks

Today we are here to talk about our National Treasure. We live in a country that is officially 231 years old. But unofficially the heart of our country started well before 231 years ago. The heart of America started way back with the yearnings of individuals who just wanted to worship the God of the Bible in freedom. They wanted the opportunity to explore scripture and apply their understandings to their lives. For various reasons, which we don’t have time to get into today, they simply weren’t allowed to do this. Over the course of time many of these individuals made their way to the North American chores. Once they got here they embarked on what they referred to as ‘The Holy Experiment’.
The experiment was to establish a community where all manners of life where grounded in scripture. The New England colonies have often been called "Bible Commonwealths" because they sought the guidance of the scriptures in regulating all aspects of the lives of their citizens. As they began developing criminal statutes Scripture was cited as authority behind the established laws.
The Holy Experiment was a huge vision dreamed of by just regular people. This dream affects every aspect of how we, as Americans, live our lives even today. I’d like to just take the opportunity to share with you some golden nuggets of truth and wisdom from some of our founding fathers and then briefly examine what any of this has to do with you and I and why this is a topic we chose to take up on Sunday morning - in church of all places.
George Washington - the oath that is still taken in court to this day started with G.W. pg. 35 (all quotes from, 'God in America' by Newt Gingrich)

in 1795 G.W. called for a national day of prayer and thanksgiving. In his speech he said... pg. 40-41

1 Peter 2:16 "Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."

Thomas Jefferson - was the author of a ‘wall of separation between church and state’. *modern day definition
public buildings for church services, including the Capitol itself!
recommended that Congress provide $100.00 per year to a missionary of an Indian tribe.
in developing school curriculums he used the Bible as the teaching text to learn to read.
when Jefferson talked about the separation between church and state he was referring to the state being separate from the affairs of the church - not the other way around. I truly believe he’d be horrified to see how his words have been so manipulated by our current culture. An incredible quote of his confirms his heart on this issue. He said: pg. 42

Abraham Lincoln -
I love an excerpt that was written on a dinner he hosted at the White House. During the night’s closing prayer the pastor commented pg.54. I love his response pg. 54

He emphasized that our purpose is not to desire the Lord to be on our side - but don’t we ask for that a lot? Problems at work - Lord show them, change them, fix them. Problems at home - give them a reality check. From playing a football game to going to war - help us win! Lincoln’s point was that God is not to be on our side - we are to recognize that he is always on the RIGHT side - whether it’s ours or not - and our desire should be to be on his side. Joe often prays not that God would bless what he’s doing but that he would do what God is blessing.


Franklin Roosevelt -
elected for four terms
referred to God and our need to depend on him numerous times in his fireside chats, state of the union addresses, and ...
One of his final addresses was most poignant. pg. 71/72

Ronald Reagan - remember what I said that coming to America was referred to in our early history? The Holy Experiment. Listen to this quote by R.R. and it ties all of this together today. Pg. 103.

Cool huh?
You know I’ve reviewed all of this today for a couple of reasons.
One is it is so easy to forget where we’ve come from. To forget what others have sacrificed so that we can be here and talk openly about our love of God and our desire to live a life that is pleasing to Him.
Two is to remind us to make sure our children know these things. Joe and I have it easy. Because our kids go to a Christian school they know more about our Christian heritage than I do. That’s an incredible blessing! If your kids don’t have that opportunity then you need to make sure you tell them.

Deuteronomy 4:5-9
"See, I have taught you decrees and laws as the LORD my God commanded me, so that you may follow them in the land you are entering to take possession of it. Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, "Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people."

What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him? And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today? Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.

Three is because we need to remember our part in all of this. For many of the recent years the Christian church bought into the manipulated idea of the ‘separation of Church and state’. Because of this we’ve been remarkably quite in the political arena, with the exception of the election of G.B. where the Christian community really began to make their voices heard. But our true voice has yet to be discovered. How do I know it is important to God that we are a part of the political process? Because a huge part of the Old Testament is a history book. It is example after example of God showing himself in and through the nations. Either by raising up Godly leadership to rule the nations or by rescuing a nation of people who’ve turned from him and now in the consequence of the rebellion are crying out to him for restoration.

So what does that mean to us within the perspective of all we’ve talked about today and with the understanding that we are in the midst our political process that results in the election of our next President? We must get involved. Listen to what’s going on. Evaluate what we’re listening to. Here’s the challenge. Evaluate things according to Biblical principle. That doesn’t seem too hard but I am surprisingly it sure can be. We are so saturated in our own opinions and our own experiences that it is not uncommon for us to come across something in scripture and realize that our opinion my not totally line up with Biblical principle. Jesus himself understands this about us and wants us to understand it about ourselves. One day he’d told the Pharisees something that didn’t particularly agree with and they argued hey - how do we know you’re right on this - all we have is your word and this was Jesus’ reply

John 14-18 "You're right that you only have my word. But you can depend on it being true. I know where I've come from and where I go next. You don't know where I'm from or where I'm headed. You decide according to what you can see and touch. I don't make judgments like that. But even if I did, my judgment would be true because I wouldn't make it out of the narrowness of my experience but in the largeness of the One who sent me, the Father."

So we must test everything we think against the word of God and where we see inconsistencies we decide if we are going to trust his judgement over our own and then we do exactly what Paul teaches us in Romans 12:1-3 where he tells us,

‘Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.’

So use this sober judgement to clearly see the political process that is unraveling on our tv sets every night. Make sure you are registered to vote. Evaluate things according to principal and not politics. Let principle trump politics in the process and vote. When we do this we absolutely follow the Biblical example of being vessels that God will use to influence the nations. Let’s be a part of what the early settlers called the Holy Experiment and Reagan referred to as the American Experiment. Let’s keep the experiment Holy. God blessed us with a Holy America - let’s do are part in maintaining the blessing.

The Perfect Marriage

Happily Ever After................

CATHLEEN:
Today we are talking about having a perfect marriage. As humans we really are obsessed with the idea of the perfect relationship. After all a good portion of the movies produced are centered around this topic, many of our literary classics revolve around complex relationships, the music industry certainly gives love it’s due. Listen to any group of teenagers or singles talk (regardless of age) and the topic inevitably turns to who likes who or who thinks who is cute or whatever.

I remember when Joe and I first met.......
Cathleen’s recollections
Joe’s recollections

CATHLEEN: We started dating and we married exactly two years later on Feb. 16,1991. Dating is a trip isn’t is? It is exciting and scary and wonderful and frightening all at the same time. It is a time of learning about the person you are dating and discovering things about yourself along the way. It is definitely a journey. The process if dating, if all goes well, leads you to the point of marriage. But it’s not just about the destination, it’s just as much about the journey. One of the greatest complaints of married couples is that their spouse just isn’t ‘the same’ as they were when they were dating. Maybe they don’t dress the same, have as much fun, pay as much attention to each other - whatever the complaint - the issue remains the same. We recognize in dating that the journey of dating is fundamental to the joy dating. To often we get married and feel like we’ve arrived at our destination and we forsake the joy of the journey. The Bible teachers us that at the point of marriage we were no longer JUST Joe and Cathleen, we were, at the moment we make our commitment to one another, two who become one.
“'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'” Matthew 19:5

CATHLEEN: This is where the true journey begins! In pursuing the perfect marriage we have to be ever mindful to not make the very common mistake of seeing a wonderful marriage as a destination but as a journey. Think about it.....
JOE:The bible clearly tells us that we are 1 - the world view however is a 50/50 performance plan, isn’t it? Unfortunately because we live in the world and we see and hear it’s views constantly we begin to get infected with it’s perspective of marriage. That viewpoint says that the marriage relationship is based upon performance - “You do your part, and I’ll do mine.” That perspective and way of thinking is opposite of the Biblical perspective of oneness. Thankfully the Bible even has the answer to this dilemma, it tells us to .... “for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” Jn. 17;14,15

Why do you suppose it is so easy to conform to the world view of marriage - that 50/50 thing we are talking about? b/c we all have this natural tendency to be self-centered. If we are focused on oneness our view point says what do we need to do? what are our goals? what decision is best for us? where should we spend our money? On the contrary if we are focused on the 50/50 paradigm our viewpoint says I’ve done my share, I’ve worked all week long I should be able too...., what I really want to do is...
“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, 
       each of us has turned to his own way.” Isaiah 53:6
But we live in a culture that promotes and encourages selfishness - “get yours buddy” “you gotta look out for #1”
“I gotta take care of me 1st”
So listen we marry w/ “stars in our eyes” & we cannot see this reality of the 2 r 1 - let me tell you love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

How can we enjoy the journey?

1. Christ must be central

We are all mirrors. We reflect God’s glory back to Him and out to others. in Genesis 1:26-27 we see,
"Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

God made mankind to mirror His image on planet earth. He also made 2 distinctively different humans (male and female) so that together they would reflect the image of God.

Their oneness reflects the character and unity of God.
Their oneness results in carrying out the work of God.
Couples who mirror God’s image experience oneness w/ their Creator.

CATHLEEN:How do we mirror God’s image?
We reflect God’s image when we surrender complete control of our lives to Him. Once we do that we begin to cultivate our relationship with Him thru listening to God by reading His Word and talking to Him in prayer. By developing relationships with other Christ-followers in church or other settings.
Christ must be central in our marriages for us to enjoy the journey
Triangle illustration.

JOE:
2. A Covenant Relationship

God is a covenant God, and He created marriage as a covenant. So before we can understand what marriage is, we need to learn what covenant is. Without the binding commitment of a covenant, a marriage is only a promise on paper, and we can never enjoy the journey if we are not fully committed to the journey.

CONTRACT OR COVENANT?
Once upon a time, in much of the world, including the land that is now the United States, the covenant was the standard form of agreement between two parties. It seems that as society became more civilized, we forgot how to act toward our fellow man, and our spouses too. Look at the modern marriage contract, complete with pre-nuptial agreement. After all, we can try it out, and if it doesn’t work, there’s no risk to anyone.
What ever happened to that “till death do us part” stuff from the wedding vows? If marriage is to last long enough to truly become “one flesh” then there needs to be something more binding than a piece of paper to hold it together.
When God appeared to Abram, He said,
“I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you.” Genesis 17:7

Everlasting covenant. What would make a covenant, or any agreement involving man everlasting?
In a covenant, the root concept is commitment. Commitment unto death. If you and I are in covenant, and you have a need, and I am able to fulfill it, there wouldn’t even be any thought about “Should I?” I would desire to meet the need even at the expense of not meeting my own needs.

The marriage covenant is sealed w/ an oath/vows - to one another and to God.
“When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.”
Ecclesiastes 5:4-5


CATHLEEN: paradigm of raising children

A real commitment to covenant relationship is absolutely necessary to enjoy the journey instead of looking to a destination.

JOE:
3. Put spouse 1st - this is living a life of humility. That’s what it means to be humble - to lift others up above yourself.
This goes against the natural tendency to be self-centered.

For us to enjoy the journey we must put our spouse ahead of ourselves. How do we put them 1st and live a life of humility?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

JOE: Men, it is so easy to step into the man role of being
decisive, of getting the job done - git er done, of being the fixer - but we can’t see our wives as our project. She is not to be dealt with in tone of finality, in a manner that is critical, as another job to be ‘taken care of’. She is to be treasured. ‘As Christ loved the church’ is not a light statement - He died for the church, he never gave up on the church (the church being people),
He passionately loved the church. Men that’s our part - that’s TRUE manhood.

CATHLEEN: “women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, ” Titus 2:4

How do we love each other according to these Biblical callings?
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

JOE: Love is seeking God’s best for your mate.

Love is action, not emotion.
Love is sacrificial action, not just good intentions.
Love is given in obedience to Christ, not in response to mate’s performance.
Love is expressed verbally and in actions. (5 love lang.)
Love’s goal is the building up of your spouse.

"Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Luke 10:27

How do you love yourself? You take care of yourself - you treat you with great care so you wont get hurt - you do everything you can to make life good for you.
self-heart - other head- switch
We are to love our spouse as we love ourselves - that good!

CLOSE CATHLEEN:
Ephesians 5:21-33
“Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage.
No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh."
This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.”

How did Christ love the church? He wasn’t critical, he was
merciful, he was patient, he encouraged, he was faithful.

Committed to the Journey.

God @ Work - Growing Spiritually @ Work

We discussed you will spend approximately forty percent of your life at work. How depressing is that! About 150,000 hours you’re going to spend on the job. God wants to use those hours to your benefit. He wants to leverage your work in order to produce spiritual growth in your life and mine.

The idea of carrying your faith into the workplace and allowing God to work in you and through you on the job is one of those things you can sort of put up a wall and say, Wait a second! I really have a lot more work to do in my spirituality outside the job before I take it on the job. I’m not ready to go public with this thing. As soon as I go public with it I’m going to blow it on the job and say or do something and people are going to go, “What a ‘Christian’?” Or they’re going to hit that hot button of Hypocrite. I know me and I’ll fail at this. There’s a little bit of a push back on that. The good news is God uses imperfect people to accomplish His perfect will. You’re imperfect – God can use you.

The question is do I allow God access, kind of the back stage access of my heart on the job? That’s a scary proposition giving that kind of green light. The last thing we want is to kind of set ourselves up to have our coworkers judging us on our spirituality. Or worse yet. Be viewed as some sort of completely out of touch Christian nerd.

I hate to admit it but many of your co-workers take just about as seriously the idea of going to church or being a Christian. The media hasn’t really helped us a whole lot in this. We’re either viewed as Ned Flanders wimps or Steve Martin’s char. in “Leap of Faith. There’s really nothing in between when it comes to Christianity. So to go public means to be pigeonholed. To be put in some sort of category by people that you really do respect that you want to think well of you, that can be a difficult thing.

There’s also another group. This other group says going public with my faith, letting God use me on the job, having Him work in me and through me in that environment. Some of you go, I would but I’m shy. So you think you have the “I'm Shy” hall pass. “But God, I’m shy! I don’t have to do anything because I’m shy.” Whatever! No hall pass.

Romans 8:29 “From the very beginning God decided those who came to Him should become like His Son.” God’s goal for my life and yours is that we would be transformed into the image of Jesus Christ. So what’s my job have to do with that? How is God going to use my job? Why is my job so important?

Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord and not for people.” So whether you’re a secretary or a salesman, a stay at home mom or a CEO you and your work matter to God. And He wants to use that time and leverage it for spiritual growth in your life. It’s all of your life that He’s interested in. Forty percent on the job? Certainly He’s not going to let that not be used. It’s a huge chunk of life. God wants to work in us and through us to grow us spiritually.

Three ways He can get that done.

1. God uses pressure to change my trajectory.

He uses pressure to change my direction, my focus. Then once He does that He begins to reset our priorities as well. Stress and pressure can really be an indicator that my priorities are out of order. If I’m feeling stressed it means that I’ve probably taken on some responsibilities I shouldn’t have taken on. When I’m feeling under pressure it means that I’ve stepped forward and accepted responsibilities that are none of my business.

Don’t take them on in the first place. Ephesians 5 “Live life with a due sense of responsibility.” But some of you have this sense of responsibility on steroids. You want to be responsible for everything. If something’s not getting done it’s falling on you and you’re worried about it. I come from a long line of worriers. Any of you professional worriers? Or your parents? You grew up with one? You react one of two ways. You take on the worry and you’re worried about things right now. You’re sitting here listening to me but you’re worried about some stuff. And by sitting here worrying about it right now is accomplishing a great deal… of nothing. The patterns, we get so used to living this way we carry things.

On the other side of that we also don’t take responsibility for the stuff that should have been ours in the first place. We are a nation that says it’s not my fault. We want to blame everybody else. It was the government or my parents or my spouse’s problem, the kids. These are all the reasons I react the way I do. It’s somebody else’s responsibility. Somebody else’s fault.

As a Christ follower you work for God and you and your work are absolutely vital. This week He wants to use some of the pressure that you face in order to adjust some priorities. Maybe give you a more balanced view of your responsibility instead of trying to carry the responsibility of the world. How do you get started on that? How do you get started on this whole idea of making a difference, being available, changing this trajectory of life so I can a have an impact on my job? Not only in me but around me as well.

1 John 1 “This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you. God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness we lie and do not live by the truth. If we claim to be without sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” Walking in light. We’re saying, “Ok God, 24/7! This is who I am. I really am not that great in being a Christian. I want to get better at it. But I have a lot of room to grow.” That’s a freeing thing to say. If any of you have thought I’m just not that spiritual. I fail and I’m just not that great a Christian.” Here’s what I want you to know: You’re right. You pretty much suck at this, ok? What you have to understand is that’s a great place to come to. It’s freeing. Then you can say, “Ok God, You’ve wired me in this way. I don’t feel all that spiritual. I do want to know You.” You know what the “want to” is? It’s called faith. You’re looking for faith to be some other thing. The want to is faith. Now you just act on it. It doesn’t mean you have to feel anything. You act. You have all the spirituality you need. Don’t sell yourself short. God’s working in you. Be willing to say this is who I am. That is walking in the light.

That’s dangerous, by the way. When you’re walking in the light and say, Ok God, what are we doing? It’s an amazing thing that begins to happen. God uses pressure to change my direction

2. God uses people to change my heart

God uses people in order to work an amazing work of change in my heart. The very thing that you don’t want to have happen is the very thing God wants to do. He wants our lives to be integrated. He wants us to be the same person wherever we find ourselves. The very thing that God wants to use to get that done is relationship. He wants to use the relationships in your life – the good ones and the difficult ones - in order to work this amazing change of heart.

Is there anybody you don’t like on your job? In every work place there are some very peculiar people. Think about it. Think about your job. Any peculiar people? If you can’t think of them it’s probably you. God wants to use these people in order to increase your capacity for love. He wants to use sometimes some very difficult people and there’s quite a process for that to happen.

Romans 12 “If it’s possible as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone.” Aren’t you glad it says “if it’s possible”? Thank God! Frankly there are some people it’s just impossible to get along with. They will not let it happen. They will not ever stop griping and as soon as they give an apology about something they pull away and say why they did what they did. They’re not going to change. They’re whiners. The Bible says, “as far as it depends on you.” If it’s possible. God is developing greater capacity of love in me.
I don’t know where I heard this quote. Probably I thought of it myself and I didn’t realize it. But “it’s not about you.” Part of spiritual growth is a healthy awareness of others. Part of growing spiritually is understanding that it’s not about you. And it’s having an awareness of the people around you, an ability to see below that disagreeable surface for the reason for the behavior that is so annoying to you at that moment or so hurtful. I grow when I’m open for that kingdom business. That’s part of that walking in the light.

What you’re saying is, I’m walking in this light with God. Somebody does something and my first response is I want to react because of what the impact of what they just did is on me because it’s all about me. Instead of taking a step further back and saying, “Ok God, what’s going on here?” Walk in the light. The light is an amazing perspective giver. We get to see below the surface. God wants to empower us and let us in on what He’s up to. He wants to use these people in our lives. Are you open for that kind of kingdom business? You’re going to have to put off your reactions to people’s lame behavior. How do you do that?

Romans 12 says “Live in harmony with each other. Don’t try to act important but enjoy the company of ordinary people. Don’t think you know it all. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that people can see that you’re honorable.”

There’s a story about a guy showing up the first day at the Bible College. He’d been a Christian for three months when he decided he was going to go to Bible College and he was going to preach the word. He went to Bible college and gets there and he’s pretty excited about it. He shows up for his first class. The professor says, “Turn to Jeremiah,” and he turns round looking for Jeremiah. Who is he? Then finally someone in the class goes, “Hey stupid! It’s in the Bible!” So he’s stumbling through. Someone else goes, “Idiot! You only have the New Testament. Jeremiah’s in the Old Testament!” So he gets done with that first class and is thinking, “I ought to get in my car and get out of here. I shouldn’t be here.”

He went ahead to his next class. He got there and he’s obviously feeling a little more comfortable as he gets involved in some of the conversation. He can see by some of the reactions that he’s probably going to say the right stuff. At the end of the class the professor asked everybody to write a couple of paragraphs about themselves. He did. When he got back to this class he got his paper back. There was a note on the bottom that said, “Thank you for being in my class, Wayne. Your insight and contribution was so refreshing in our discussion times. Your obvious zeal for Christ inspires us all. I look with great anticipation for how God will use you for His purpose.” Then he put on the bottom “The kingdom of God awaits you.” He said he must have read it a hundred times that night.

We tend to maximize the negative voices in our lives. And we tend to minimize the positive. We hear the negative voices screaming. We need to learn how to deal with that. Sometimes we think that’s the way it is and that’s the way you have to live. You don’t. We can learn to deal with this.

As a matter of fact I’m going to give you something I learned... Grab your ear lobe. You’re listening to something and somebody says, “That was an idiot thing to do. I.e., Jeremiah’s a book in the Bible, you idiot.” You know what you do at that point? Just flush that one.

The other thing you get to do is you get to have a lid on your heart. Sometimes people say things and you just let it right into your heart. You let it straight into your emotions. You need to learn how to close that lid. You need to learn how to open and close the lid of your heart and not let everything in so deeply that shouldn’t be there.
God uses people to change my heart - to grow the capacity of love in us, b/c it’s not about you

3. God uses pain to change my character.

The fact is we all have our unique set of problems in our different jobs. There’s a resulting pain from those problems, those trials, those difficulties. God wants to use those to help build our character. That does not mean He authored the problems, trials and pain. It simply means He’s willing to use those. He will leverage those things.
Romans 5 says “We can rejoice too when we run into problems and trials. They help us learn to endure and endurance develops strength of character and helps us to trust God more each time.” God is far more interested in your character than in your comfort. God is far more interested in perfecting you than pampering you. I don’t really like either of those statements. I’m very committed to my comfort and my pampering. But every time I pursue that and it runs counter to God’s purposes in my life I find that my best efforts do not satisfy. When I let Him do this transforming work in my heart it’s amazing but I actually end up where I wanted to be all along. Fulfilled. I was just pursuing it in a way that could never get it done. The goal is that we be transformed and become more like Jesus.

God can even use the temptations that you face to do that. All of us face various temptations but there’s a whole new set of them that are unique to work. You have a whole different group of temptations that show up there. 1 Corinthians 10 says
“Remember the temptations that come into your life are no different than what others experience. God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted He will show you a way out so you won’t give into it.” The temptations are common. We all face the same kinds of temptation. The solutions are also common as well. You go to God. You ask Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit, give you the power to make the right choice. Temptations are resistible. And clearly what we just said God will give you a way out.

It teaches us that although there is a way that God will make that even when I blow it the last chapter is not written. As long as I do something – walk in the light.

There’s a great definition for maturity... It’s this. Christian maturity is this: I'm a quicker repent-er than I used to be. That’s Christian maturity. Because if maturity means you won’t sin, then we have to become awesome actors. Because you’re a sinner and I'm a sinner. Fortunately God is in the business of forgiveness. He can even use my failures to build my character.

Phil. 1:6
“I am sure that God who began the good work within you will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again.” The most important thing that you’re going to bring from your job this week is not your paycheck. It’s your character. God has begun a work in you. He’s committed to completing that work. He wants to continue that. He wants that backstage pass. Would you give Him the full access pass? The e-ticket to your heart. It will conclude that forty percent on your job this week. I challenge you to say, “Ok God, lights on, windows open. I'm walking in the light. I want to be a quicker repent-er than I used to be. I want to give You access to change me. In every way You want.”

If you’ll do that, I have some exciting news for you. The kingdom of God is at hand for you. The kingdom of God is at hand! It starts Monday morning. What will you do with it?