I. What does it mean to 'Be Relevant'?
3 Scenarios:
1. Flat tire, car pulls up & comes out w/ jumper cables - are jumper cables relevant? Are ju. ca. important? sure just not now
2. Previous week b4 your flat tire - your office offered an optional course on tire-changing tech.and roadside safety - the week b4 your car broke down how relevant would that class have been? How motivated would you have been to sign-up and stand out in the wet air & cold wind watching someone chan-tire
3. On the roadside w/ flat tire at night - car pulls up behind you & out jump 3 big, nasty guys speaking a foreign lang. - in that moment your concern changes doesn’t it? 30 sec. b4 your concern was, “Oh no you got a flat tire” & suddenly you got a new concern.
As we think about these different scenarios, ask yourself, what makes a relevant envior? What makes something relevant?
When we look at the world today, what we may believe is absolutely irrelevant was at some point & time very relevant.
(examples - it’s hard for us to imagine that at one time)
here’s the deal - Relevance is a moving target
Scripture isn’t, theology isn’t, but relevance is a moving target.
Our methods must change, but the message stays the same. (able to extract methodology from theology)
Being Relevant is adjusting to your surroundings to share God's message.
1 Corinthians 9:19-23
“Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessing.”
Elements of Relevance
1. Culture and stage of life determines what is appealing
what’s going on around you - what’s current - pop cul; marketplace cul; bus. cul. that’s what’s appealing to the vast maj.
Jesus always did this - He pointed out something familar, something current, “ A man had 2 sons”... “look at this fig tree”
what’s going on around you - SoL, it’s diff. for an adult and a child - don’t ask a 50yr. to sit on floor and dont give a 5y. coffee.
2. Relationships are crucial
My relationships create my opportunities
we have diff. levels of relationships; close, kinda close, friends...
It is in these relation. that we can share what God has done in our lives (testimony)- so we need to cultivate these relation. - talked about 2 weeks ago - My relationships create my opportunities here we talk about Invest and Invite
3. Presentation determines interest
How we make the presentation matters. (eating out - 3 meats, beef, chix, fish - the diff. isn’t, “oh I’m tired of those 3 meats what else do you have” no when you look down the menu you look at how they’re presented. The meat is the meat, chix is chix is chix,
but there’s dozens of ways to do chix. & it’s the presentation that creates the interest, it’s not the chix.
It is not enough to present Truth
It is the pres. of the Word that makes it interesting - that’s not what makes it relevant but makes it interesting - hey David kills Goliath everytime you read it right? I dont even wanna hear another version of the story, “hey could you change it up a bit, we heard that you know?”
There’s people who can talk about David killing Gol. and you’re like uh-huh, but then there’s people who can talk about David killing Gol. and you feel the sweat dripping down Gol. whoa what’s the diff. it’s not the story - it’s the pres.
So when you see Uncle Bill every Holiday season and as you approach him, are his thoughts, “Oh no, here he comes or here she comes again, same o, same o story about Jesus”
and we’re boring them with the greatest story ever told
Truth is always relevant, but,Truth is not always perceived as relevant
We must become experts at helping people see relevant things as relevant things - this is a problem we have w/ our teens
Our task is to present Truth in such a way that people are forced to recognize and _feel_ the relevance.
This requires an engaging and creative presentation
Why is this so important that we are examining this in such detail? B/c in our relationships, (church) as we cultivate those and become comfortable w/ one another we tend to get very lax and in a rut w/ them that nothing new ever develops and we get to a point of, “we’ll they’ve heard that so... skip it”
chix is chix is chix, it’s the presentation that matters.
If our pres. isn’t engaging it isn’t interesting, if it’s not interesting then Truth is going to be perceived as irrelevant BUT Truth isn’t irrelevant, but the un-engaging pres. makes it feel irrelevant
4. Content determines relevance
Here at the church, Eric, myself, Cathleen, or others
We could be engaging and interesting and fun, humorous, telling great stories but if it’s not helpful then people walk away w/, “well I had a good time but I really didn’t get anything out of that”
Is it helpful?
Let me ask you, when you are in convo. w/ others, do they leave that convo. w/ you never thinking about it again. or...
Do you leave them w/ something, somewhere in the beg. or middle or end of the convo. do you leave them w/ something that they ponder on again? Something you said, maybe even in a nonchalant way, that they think about again.
I don’t know how many times Cathleen and I have left meetings, churches, seminars, and so forth, and we looked at each other and say, “I didn’t get anything out of that”
Has that ever happened to you?
We think, “what a waste of our time”
It is something we give a great deal of thought to here at FOCUS* - we never want people leaving thinking, “we had fun, it was interesting, we met some great people, but quite frankly I can’t remember why or what reason we were even there for to begin with - I didn’t come away with anything”
It must be helpful!
So... what must we present here and what is the content that we want to leave our friends, our family members, co-workers, in the conversations we have during the holidays or at the water cooler, what is the content? What is helpful?
God’s Word
The Truth, God’s Word is the content.
God’s Word is relevant for today. That is what we want to leave with others as much as we can.
So can you see how this all ties together?
What does it mean to be relevant?
“I have become all things to all men so that by all
possible means I might save some” 1 Corinthians 9:22
Being Relevant is Adjusting to your surroundings to share
God's message.
What makes my surroundings appealing? Culture
My relationships create my opportunities
My pres. must be engaging and interesting
and
It’s the content, God’s Word that determines the relevance
It may not be perceived that way so we must bring to the table something that is helpful, something worth remembering -
We can find that in God’s Word.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
GETTING FOCUS* - "Just like Jesus" part 2
“If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says”
Our Character is essentially the sum of our Habits.
The Habit of Solitude, Prayer, Intimate Community
The Habit of Getting in the Word
If we only used the Bible to study and apply it’s practical wisdom in our lives, dealing w/ people and overcoming challenges, it still would stand alone as the greatest book ever written. But the Bible is so much more than a how-to manual, it is an intimate love letter written to you from your Heavenly Father.
Through the words of Scripture, God invites us daily to experience new and exciting dimensions of His love.
Scripture is the holy Word from God, delivered by holy men, to teach holy truths, to make people holy.
We look at this book (the Bible) and think, “it’s sooo big” , but in reality if this is the primary document in which God communicates to His people, then it’s really small. So every paragraph, every line, every word is extremely important.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17
It is all good to know that the Bible is useful, reliable, & valuable.
It is another thing to make it your own in a practical way. It is only profitable if you read it. How can we make the Word of God more effective in our lives?
There are 5 practical ways we can cultivate the habit of Getting in the Word.
Hear the Word
The simplest way to receive the Word is to hear it from someone else. Even a young child or someone who cannot read can hear the Bible.
“If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” Mark 4:23
“Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Romans 10:17
The parable of the sower, that Jesus taught in Matt. 13:3-23
lists 4 kinds of hearers of the Word.
The apathetic hearer hears the word but is not prepared to
receive and understand it (v19)
The superficial hearer receives the word temporarily but does not let it take root in the heart (v20-21)
The preoccupied hearer receives the Word but lets the worries of this world & the desire for other things choke it out (v22)
The reproducing hearer receives the Word, understands it, bears fruit, and brings forth results (v.23)
Which kind of hearer are you?
small group discussion: what are some ways/examples we can hear the Word?
Read the Word
2nd way to Get in the Word is to read it.
“Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it.” Revelation 1:3
This is simply displaying the fact that it is a value in your life and making time to open up the Word of God.
Study the Word
When we study the Word, we go deeper into it’s meaning and application for our lives.
“Now the Bereans were of more noble character... for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”
Acts 17:11
With study, we begin to have more power in our handling of the Word. Bible study is an in-depth look into the scripture, to learn and to discover more than you would see during a simple overview or in a devotional reading. Studying involves comparing what the Bible says in one passage to other passages thruout the Bible. It might begin w/ a question that prompts you to search for it’s answer. It is helpful to use other study tools such as commentaries or concordances - there are a ton of helpful bible study websites. Maybe you want to do a word or person study in scripture - 1yr. I examined every word that Jesus spoke in the N.T. each gospel, the book of Acts and Rev. to discover - to do in depth study of the Character of Jesus Christ.
Memorize the Word
A deeper way to get the Word in you is to memorize it.
When you remember the Word, it really lives in you, you live in it, and God’s promises become your possessions.
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word...I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:9,11
Jesus again models for us one reason why we need God’s Word hidden in our hearts. During His time of 40 days of solitude in the wilderness, Satan tempts Christ 3 different times -
How did Jesus model for us to deal w/ these temptations?
He quotes scripture.
It also helps us to answer those who may question our faith.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” 1 Pet. 3:15
Having God’s Word alive in us enables us to handle the pressures and difficulties of life so much easier. (life scrip. - sleep)
Meditate on the Word
Another way we live in the Word & the Word lives in us is to think about it or meditate on it.
“His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:2
While memorization puts God’s Word in your head, meditation puts it in you heart.
When I’m referring to meditating on scrip. it’s not like sitting in some yoga stance chatting, “ooohhmmmm” it has nothing to do w/ eastern religious practices - those forms of meditation they are trying to close off their mind to everything around them to find the answer w/in themselves - let me assure of something right now - you don’t have the answer - it’s not in you! Only God has the answer - it is found in His Word.
Sure in our times of solitude listening for God, the Holy Spirit will answer and lead and guide us but in meditating on God’s Word is when you focus on a specific verse of scripture. Usually one line, 2 at the most and think it about it on how it applies to your life and ask the Holy Spirit for His revelation as we meditate on God’s Word. -
Read the verse a number of times, paraphrase it, apply your name in it (if that’s fitting) and always in study and in meditation have a pen/pencil and a notepad - b/c
“The same thing is true of the words I speak. They will not return to me empty. They make the things happen that I want to happen, and they succeed in doing what I send them to do.”
Isaiah 55:11
The Habit of Trusting in God’s Unconditional Love
In each of our lives, we will come to points of decision that will reveal where we put our trust and hope. We continue to face the fear of the negative consequences of taking a stand & the temptation to rely on our self-accumulated resources & efforts as our source of self-worth and security.
We live in a world that fuels the fires of pride and fear. Through fads, fashion, and pressure to ‘keep up w/ the Jones’ we are constantly being lured into believing we can secure a sense of meaning and safety in stuff, or wealth, or even other human relationships. Standing in absolute contrast to these temporary, always-at-risk, never secure places to put our trust is the unconditional love and promises of God.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
The effects of God’s personal, unchanging, unrestrained love for you are enormous - so enormous that it might seem easier to consider His love so far beyond comprehension that you may not or don’t even try to understand it - but if we do not try we leave the dearly purchased gift unopened and the joy of the giver unrealized.
To put our trust in His love not only affects our lives directly, but is integrated in every relationship and all that we do.
To be just like Jesus, we must love Jesus
Everything that we attempt in our lives, such as developing biblical character traits hangs in the balance in our response to the question Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?”
Our answer should not be taken lightly b/c Jesus is taking it
seriously. Our answer will reveal our true motivations for all we have done. Jesus asked, “Do you love me?”
He didn’t ask Peter if he feared Him, respected Him, or admired Him; instead He asked, “Do you love me?”
That is the beginning to everything in life. That is where new life starts. It’s a ? He asks us all - “Do you love me?”
Then live for me.
To be just like Jesus, we must love like Jesus
If we do not really love Jesus, then we will not truly love people.
Remember Jesus’ follow-up to His question for Peter? He 1st asks, “Do you love me?” Peter responds with, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” A very similar response that we might have, huh? Jesus replies with, “Then feed my sheep”
So often we take this conversation between Jesus & Peter as a commissioning of sorts into ministry - we believe that, “well that was for Peter, he’s a pastor, it doesn’t apply to me in that way”
Aahhh... but it applies to every follower - Jesus wants to see the evidence of our love for Him.
“Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40
Jesus is teaching us that how we treat other people is how we treat Him.
As we clearly understand His unconditional love for us, we begin to put it into practice everyday. We are to express our love for Jesus, by loving those He places in our path.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Jn. 13:34,35
If we want to be just like Jesus, then we must love like Jesus
People matter to God, therefore people matter to us.
Our Character is essentially the sum of our Habits.
To be just like Jesus we need to develop these spiritual habits of solitude, prayer, intimate community, getting into God’s Word, and loving like Jesus.
“If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says”
Our Character is essentially the sum of our Habits.
The Habit of Solitude, Prayer, Intimate Community
The Habit of Getting in the Word
If we only used the Bible to study and apply it’s practical wisdom in our lives, dealing w/ people and overcoming challenges, it still would stand alone as the greatest book ever written. But the Bible is so much more than a how-to manual, it is an intimate love letter written to you from your Heavenly Father.
Through the words of Scripture, God invites us daily to experience new and exciting dimensions of His love.
Scripture is the holy Word from God, delivered by holy men, to teach holy truths, to make people holy.
We look at this book (the Bible) and think, “it’s sooo big” , but in reality if this is the primary document in which God communicates to His people, then it’s really small. So every paragraph, every line, every word is extremely important.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17
It is all good to know that the Bible is useful, reliable, & valuable.
It is another thing to make it your own in a practical way. It is only profitable if you read it. How can we make the Word of God more effective in our lives?
There are 5 practical ways we can cultivate the habit of Getting in the Word.
Hear the Word
The simplest way to receive the Word is to hear it from someone else. Even a young child or someone who cannot read can hear the Bible.
“If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” Mark 4:23
“Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Romans 10:17
The parable of the sower, that Jesus taught in Matt. 13:3-23
lists 4 kinds of hearers of the Word.
The apathetic hearer hears the word but is not prepared to
receive and understand it (v19)
The superficial hearer receives the word temporarily but does not let it take root in the heart (v20-21)
The preoccupied hearer receives the Word but lets the worries of this world & the desire for other things choke it out (v22)
The reproducing hearer receives the Word, understands it, bears fruit, and brings forth results (v.23)
Which kind of hearer are you?
small group discussion: what are some ways/examples we can hear the Word?
Read the Word
2nd way to Get in the Word is to read it.
“Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it.” Revelation 1:3
This is simply displaying the fact that it is a value in your life and making time to open up the Word of God.
Study the Word
When we study the Word, we go deeper into it’s meaning and application for our lives.
“Now the Bereans were of more noble character... for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.”
Acts 17:11
With study, we begin to have more power in our handling of the Word. Bible study is an in-depth look into the scripture, to learn and to discover more than you would see during a simple overview or in a devotional reading. Studying involves comparing what the Bible says in one passage to other passages thruout the Bible. It might begin w/ a question that prompts you to search for it’s answer. It is helpful to use other study tools such as commentaries or concordances - there are a ton of helpful bible study websites. Maybe you want to do a word or person study in scripture - 1yr. I examined every word that Jesus spoke in the N.T. each gospel, the book of Acts and Rev. to discover - to do in depth study of the Character of Jesus Christ.
Memorize the Word
A deeper way to get the Word in you is to memorize it.
When you remember the Word, it really lives in you, you live in it, and God’s promises become your possessions.
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word...I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:9,11
Jesus again models for us one reason why we need God’s Word hidden in our hearts. During His time of 40 days of solitude in the wilderness, Satan tempts Christ 3 different times -
How did Jesus model for us to deal w/ these temptations?
He quotes scripture.
It also helps us to answer those who may question our faith.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” 1 Pet. 3:15
Having God’s Word alive in us enables us to handle the pressures and difficulties of life so much easier. (life scrip. - sleep)
Meditate on the Word
Another way we live in the Word & the Word lives in us is to think about it or meditate on it.
“His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:2
While memorization puts God’s Word in your head, meditation puts it in you heart.
When I’m referring to meditating on scrip. it’s not like sitting in some yoga stance chatting, “ooohhmmmm” it has nothing to do w/ eastern religious practices - those forms of meditation they are trying to close off their mind to everything around them to find the answer w/in themselves - let me assure of something right now - you don’t have the answer - it’s not in you! Only God has the answer - it is found in His Word.
Sure in our times of solitude listening for God, the Holy Spirit will answer and lead and guide us but in meditating on God’s Word is when you focus on a specific verse of scripture. Usually one line, 2 at the most and think it about it on how it applies to your life and ask the Holy Spirit for His revelation as we meditate on God’s Word. -
Read the verse a number of times, paraphrase it, apply your name in it (if that’s fitting) and always in study and in meditation have a pen/pencil and a notepad - b/c
“The same thing is true of the words I speak. They will not return to me empty. They make the things happen that I want to happen, and they succeed in doing what I send them to do.”
Isaiah 55:11
The Habit of Trusting in God’s Unconditional Love
In each of our lives, we will come to points of decision that will reveal where we put our trust and hope. We continue to face the fear of the negative consequences of taking a stand & the temptation to rely on our self-accumulated resources & efforts as our source of self-worth and security.
We live in a world that fuels the fires of pride and fear. Through fads, fashion, and pressure to ‘keep up w/ the Jones’ we are constantly being lured into believing we can secure a sense of meaning and safety in stuff, or wealth, or even other human relationships. Standing in absolute contrast to these temporary, always-at-risk, never secure places to put our trust is the unconditional love and promises of God.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
The effects of God’s personal, unchanging, unrestrained love for you are enormous - so enormous that it might seem easier to consider His love so far beyond comprehension that you may not or don’t even try to understand it - but if we do not try we leave the dearly purchased gift unopened and the joy of the giver unrealized.
To put our trust in His love not only affects our lives directly, but is integrated in every relationship and all that we do.
To be just like Jesus, we must love Jesus
Everything that we attempt in our lives, such as developing biblical character traits hangs in the balance in our response to the question Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?”
Our answer should not be taken lightly b/c Jesus is taking it
seriously. Our answer will reveal our true motivations for all we have done. Jesus asked, “Do you love me?”
He didn’t ask Peter if he feared Him, respected Him, or admired Him; instead He asked, “Do you love me?”
That is the beginning to everything in life. That is where new life starts. It’s a ? He asks us all - “Do you love me?”
Then live for me.
To be just like Jesus, we must love like Jesus
If we do not really love Jesus, then we will not truly love people.
Remember Jesus’ follow-up to His question for Peter? He 1st asks, “Do you love me?” Peter responds with, “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” A very similar response that we might have, huh? Jesus replies with, “Then feed my sheep”
So often we take this conversation between Jesus & Peter as a commissioning of sorts into ministry - we believe that, “well that was for Peter, he’s a pastor, it doesn’t apply to me in that way”
Aahhh... but it applies to every follower - Jesus wants to see the evidence of our love for Him.
“Inasmuch as you have done it unto one of the least of these, you have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40
Jesus is teaching us that how we treat other people is how we treat Him.
As we clearly understand His unconditional love for us, we begin to put it into practice everyday. We are to express our love for Jesus, by loving those He places in our path.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." Jn. 13:34,35
If we want to be just like Jesus, then we must love like Jesus
People matter to God, therefore people matter to us.
Our Character is essentially the sum of our Habits.
To be just like Jesus we need to develop these spiritual habits of solitude, prayer, intimate community, getting into God’s Word, and loving like Jesus.
“If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says”
Sunday, January 14, 2007
GETTING FOCUS* - "Just like Jesus" part 1
If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says
A couple of weeks ago I talked to you about Laying the Foundation for the new year -
we looked at 8 characteristics of Neh. that are essential for us in life
So today I’m going to get painfully practical - How do we instill those character traits in our own lives?
We have 2 selves: An external, task-oriented self that is used to getting jobs done, & we have an internal, more reflective self that is very thoughtful. Which of our 2 selves wakes up quicker in the morning? It’s our external, task-or. self.
What happens in the morning? The alarm goes off! which immediately ignites our task-or. self, & we jump out of bed.
We head to the bathroom, take care of business, begin getting ready for the work or school day - brush teeth (i hope), do our hair, make-up, clothes, get kids ready (if that applies), try to get some breakfast - race to the car b/c we’re running late - screaming for everyone to get in the car.
Move thru our w/s day - head home thinking of what needs to be done at home, get dinner ready, do homework w/kids, maybe talk on the phone a bit or watch some TV then fall into bed exhausted and the alarm goes off the next day!
Comedian Lily Tomlin once said, “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
To avoid being consumed by the rat race & the pressures of life, all of us need to develop strategies and spiritual habits that will help us stay on track w/ what’s really important.
So if we back up a couple of weeks to the 8 chara. of Neh.
How do we instill those character traits in our own lives?
(look at N.T. today and the life of Jesus Christ)
Our Character is essentially the sum of our habits
We get off track easily, we get distracted easily, even w/ the good. If we look at the life of Christ, we see Jesus never got off track - He stayed focused all of the time. What was it that kept Him on track and focused?
I believe it was His habits.
If we want to develop these char. traits then I think we need to look at the life of Christ, our perfect role model and carefully
observe His habits.
To ask, “WWJD” the answer can be found in His habits.
The Habit of Solitude
Of the 5 habits were going to discuss, solitude is by far the most elusive in our modern world of busyness and 24-7 communications. Solitude is a countercultural and challenging behavior.
It draws us into the very place from that we try so hard to avoid - being truly alone w/ God w/out an agenda.
It is a rare & often unsettling feeling to stop doing and just be.
Yet as strange as it feels to actively ‘cease moving forward’ or ‘doing’, the result can be life changing.
Solitude is being completely alone w/ God away from all human contact for extended periods of time. It is like stepping out out the back door of your noisy life of to-do lists and demanding
relationships to breathe in some fresh air.
It is being refreshed and restored in life by being alone w/ God and has nothing to do with the impact of our attempts to do something or from any other person. It is taking time to listen to that still small voice in which God speaks to your soul and tells you that you are His beloved.
Jesus modeled solitude as an integral component of His life and ministry:
-When preparing for for the tests of leadership & public min., Jesus spent 40 days alone in the desert
-Before Jesus chose His 12 Dis. from among His followers, He spent the entire night alone in the desert hills.
-When Jesus received the news of the death of John Bap, He withdrew in a boat to a lonely place
-After the miraculous feeding of the 5,000, Jesus went up in the hills by Himself
It was in these times of preparing to lead, making important decisions, handling bad news, & dealing w/ praise and recognition that Jesus modeled the value of spending time alone to settle in and find that ‘true north’ of our God compass.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place,
where he prayed.” Mark 1:35
These words stand between Jesus and the temptation to spend His precious time doing the popular thing instead of doing the primary work He came to do.
The reality is most of us spend little time, if any time in solitude. Yet if we don’t, how can God have a chance to talk w/ us?
The Habit of Prayer
Prayer is an essential act of the will that demonstrates whether we are really serious about living like Jesus.
W/out it, we will never be able to open the way for connecting our plans and efforts w/ God’s plan for His kingdom or engaging the spiritual resources that Jesus promised to us all - that is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Seeking God’s will thru prayer, waiting in faith for an answer, & being at peace w/ the outcome call for a level of spiritual maturity that will keep anyone seeking to be just like Jesus in the posture of a lifelong learner.
Jesus’ Prayer in Gethsemane
Nowhere in the bible is a model of praying like Jesus more powerfully provided for us than in the dark hours of the night before He was betrayed. This was a time when the temptation to abandon His mission was at an almost unbearable moment:
“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:36-39
1. Where did Jesus pray and why?
He went off by Himself for prayer. A troubled soul finds the most ease when it is alone w/ God, who understands the broken language of sighs and groans. While alone w/ the Father, Jesus could freely pour out His heart w/out restraint.
2. What was Jesus’ posture in prayer?
He fell on His face before His Father, indicating His agony, extreme sorrow, and humility in prayer. At other times Jesus prayed looking up to heaven, w/ His eyes open, or kneeling.
The posture of the heart is more important than the posture of the body, but physically kneeling or laying
before God helps our heart posture.
3. What did Jesus ask?
He asked, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.
He was asking if He could avoid suffering on the cross. But notice the way He phrased His request: if it is possible
He left the answer to the Father when He said, Yet not as I will, but as you will. He based His own willingness upon the Father’s will.
4. What was the answer to Jesus’ prayer?
His answer was that the will of the Father be done. He got His answer, and was strengthened for the mission He was to fulfill.
Sometimes that’s not so easy for us, our human tendency is to avoid the pain or difficulty - but we must trust in the fact that Father knows best. He has our best interests - He knows what lies ahead and we are trust and believe in faith.
Some people ask, ‘how do you pray’? 1st of all, prayer is not a technique; it’s a conversation w/ God. We all need to develop our own style of conversing w/ the Father - He wants you to be you - to talk to Him as any other conver. - not imitating a prayer or someone who we may think really prays great prayers - just be yourself. With that said, sometimes a little framework is helpful to get started or to lead our prayers.
the ACTS acronym is very helpful for that.
Adoration - All prayer should begin here.
“Enter His courts w/ praise.” Tell God how amazing He is... to you... in your life... in the world
Confession - Immediately when we come into the presence of a holy God, we sense our inadequacies and realize that we fall short of His glory - So our 1st step in meeting and adoring is confession. We may even want to confess our sins before we express our adoration and love.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Thanksgiving - This is a heartfelt expression of gratitude for all He has done in creation, in redemption (saving us), & in our lives. During this time of prayer thank God specifically for all that He has done since the last time you talked.
“Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:19-20
Supplication - Finally, we get to the part where most of us start - asking. Supplication is just a big word for asking for what you need. Start by praying about others’ needs & then ask for your own needs to be met. It’s OK to have a big “wish list” - according to God’s Word, we can ask in confidence.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
God wants to know the details of your life - the big and the small so spill your guts.
The Habit of Intimate Community
The time Jesus spent in fellowship, hanging out w/ His disciples seems to have been for their benefit and His.
Among the 12 that He called out to be His apostles, Jesus had a small group of 3, Pete, Jim, & John - w/ whom He seemed to have a closer relationship with.
He took those 3 w/ Him to special places and events - the Mount of Transfiguration, the 3 were w/ Him when He raised the daughter of the synagogue leader from the dead, and this inner circle was w/ Him on the night He would be betrayed and arrested on His final journey to the cross.
We need others in our lives - we were created for community.
When we rely on our own perspective of how we are doing, we are bound to slip into convenient thinking to go easy on ourselves, to compromise our integrity of these characteristics we are trying to establish in our lives.
We need trusted truth-tellers.
Preferably those not directly impacted by what we do, who can help us stay on course.
If you can’t name any truth-tellers in your life, or if you have avoided or undervalued the ones you have, it’s time to change.
Having truth-tellers is probably the greatest resource for growth that we can have.
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Proverbs 27:6
Bring truth-tellers into your life - it allows accountability - and enables us to open up - to share and listen, to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is one of the most powerful things we can do in building relationships w/ others.
They know you’re not perfect, so don’t act like you are.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,12
We also need encouragers
When things aren’t going so smooth, when life is beating you up, when you want to pinch the heads off your kids, when you work for that pushy, arrogant boss - we need others to lift us up out of the doldrums - we need encouragement
We need someone to tell us everything is going to be OK
Sometimes life just rips out the capacity to believe in what you are capable of doing - sometimes we have waited for something to happen for long we don’t ever think it’s going to happen. Sometimes it’s attempts that failed, “I gave it my best shot, it didn’t happen”
So when times get tough we just lower our stand/expect.
We need others to put the ‘courage’ back in our lives.
We need others helping us to believe that we can do all and everything God has called us to do - to say, YES U CAN!
“let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together... but let us encourage one another.” Hebrews 10:24-25
This habit, Intimate Community, along w/ Solitude and Prayer
will keep us focused - to develop these habits in life will equate to the character traits we all long for.
To try our best to be just like Jesus.
Our Character is essentially the sum of our habits
If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says
A couple of weeks ago I talked to you about Laying the Foundation for the new year -
we looked at 8 characteristics of Neh. that are essential for us in life
So today I’m going to get painfully practical - How do we instill those character traits in our own lives?
We have 2 selves: An external, task-oriented self that is used to getting jobs done, & we have an internal, more reflective self that is very thoughtful. Which of our 2 selves wakes up quicker in the morning? It’s our external, task-or. self.
What happens in the morning? The alarm goes off! which immediately ignites our task-or. self, & we jump out of bed.
We head to the bathroom, take care of business, begin getting ready for the work or school day - brush teeth (i hope), do our hair, make-up, clothes, get kids ready (if that applies), try to get some breakfast - race to the car b/c we’re running late - screaming for everyone to get in the car.
Move thru our w/s day - head home thinking of what needs to be done at home, get dinner ready, do homework w/kids, maybe talk on the phone a bit or watch some TV then fall into bed exhausted and the alarm goes off the next day!
Comedian Lily Tomlin once said, “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”
To avoid being consumed by the rat race & the pressures of life, all of us need to develop strategies and spiritual habits that will help us stay on track w/ what’s really important.
So if we back up a couple of weeks to the 8 chara. of Neh.
How do we instill those character traits in our own lives?
(look at N.T. today and the life of Jesus Christ)
Our Character is essentially the sum of our habits
We get off track easily, we get distracted easily, even w/ the good. If we look at the life of Christ, we see Jesus never got off track - He stayed focused all of the time. What was it that kept Him on track and focused?
I believe it was His habits.
If we want to develop these char. traits then I think we need to look at the life of Christ, our perfect role model and carefully
observe His habits.
To ask, “WWJD” the answer can be found in His habits.
The Habit of Solitude
Of the 5 habits were going to discuss, solitude is by far the most elusive in our modern world of busyness and 24-7 communications. Solitude is a countercultural and challenging behavior.
It draws us into the very place from that we try so hard to avoid - being truly alone w/ God w/out an agenda.
It is a rare & often unsettling feeling to stop doing and just be.
Yet as strange as it feels to actively ‘cease moving forward’ or ‘doing’, the result can be life changing.
Solitude is being completely alone w/ God away from all human contact for extended periods of time. It is like stepping out out the back door of your noisy life of to-do lists and demanding
relationships to breathe in some fresh air.
It is being refreshed and restored in life by being alone w/ God and has nothing to do with the impact of our attempts to do something or from any other person. It is taking time to listen to that still small voice in which God speaks to your soul and tells you that you are His beloved.
Jesus modeled solitude as an integral component of His life and ministry:
-When preparing for for the tests of leadership & public min., Jesus spent 40 days alone in the desert
-Before Jesus chose His 12 Dis. from among His followers, He spent the entire night alone in the desert hills.
-When Jesus received the news of the death of John Bap, He withdrew in a boat to a lonely place
-After the miraculous feeding of the 5,000, Jesus went up in the hills by Himself
It was in these times of preparing to lead, making important decisions, handling bad news, & dealing w/ praise and recognition that Jesus modeled the value of spending time alone to settle in and find that ‘true north’ of our God compass.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place,
where he prayed.” Mark 1:35
These words stand between Jesus and the temptation to spend His precious time doing the popular thing instead of doing the primary work He came to do.
The reality is most of us spend little time, if any time in solitude. Yet if we don’t, how can God have a chance to talk w/ us?
The Habit of Prayer
Prayer is an essential act of the will that demonstrates whether we are really serious about living like Jesus.
W/out it, we will never be able to open the way for connecting our plans and efforts w/ God’s plan for His kingdom or engaging the spiritual resources that Jesus promised to us all - that is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Seeking God’s will thru prayer, waiting in faith for an answer, & being at peace w/ the outcome call for a level of spiritual maturity that will keep anyone seeking to be just like Jesus in the posture of a lifelong learner.
Jesus’ Prayer in Gethsemane
Nowhere in the bible is a model of praying like Jesus more powerfully provided for us than in the dark hours of the night before He was betrayed. This was a time when the temptation to abandon His mission was at an almost unbearable moment:
“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:36-39
1. Where did Jesus pray and why?
He went off by Himself for prayer. A troubled soul finds the most ease when it is alone w/ God, who understands the broken language of sighs and groans. While alone w/ the Father, Jesus could freely pour out His heart w/out restraint.
2. What was Jesus’ posture in prayer?
He fell on His face before His Father, indicating His agony, extreme sorrow, and humility in prayer. At other times Jesus prayed looking up to heaven, w/ His eyes open, or kneeling.
The posture of the heart is more important than the posture of the body, but physically kneeling or laying
before God helps our heart posture.
3. What did Jesus ask?
He asked, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.
He was asking if He could avoid suffering on the cross. But notice the way He phrased His request: if it is possible
He left the answer to the Father when He said, Yet not as I will, but as you will. He based His own willingness upon the Father’s will.
4. What was the answer to Jesus’ prayer?
His answer was that the will of the Father be done. He got His answer, and was strengthened for the mission He was to fulfill.
Sometimes that’s not so easy for us, our human tendency is to avoid the pain or difficulty - but we must trust in the fact that Father knows best. He has our best interests - He knows what lies ahead and we are trust and believe in faith.
Some people ask, ‘how do you pray’? 1st of all, prayer is not a technique; it’s a conversation w/ God. We all need to develop our own style of conversing w/ the Father - He wants you to be you - to talk to Him as any other conver. - not imitating a prayer or someone who we may think really prays great prayers - just be yourself. With that said, sometimes a little framework is helpful to get started or to lead our prayers.
the ACTS acronym is very helpful for that.
Adoration - All prayer should begin here.
“Enter His courts w/ praise.” Tell God how amazing He is... to you... in your life... in the world
Confession - Immediately when we come into the presence of a holy God, we sense our inadequacies and realize that we fall short of His glory - So our 1st step in meeting and adoring is confession. We may even want to confess our sins before we express our adoration and love.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Thanksgiving - This is a heartfelt expression of gratitude for all He has done in creation, in redemption (saving us), & in our lives. During this time of prayer thank God specifically for all that He has done since the last time you talked.
“Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:19-20
Supplication - Finally, we get to the part where most of us start - asking. Supplication is just a big word for asking for what you need. Start by praying about others’ needs & then ask for your own needs to be met. It’s OK to have a big “wish list” - according to God’s Word, we can ask in confidence.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
God wants to know the details of your life - the big and the small so spill your guts.
The Habit of Intimate Community
The time Jesus spent in fellowship, hanging out w/ His disciples seems to have been for their benefit and His.
Among the 12 that He called out to be His apostles, Jesus had a small group of 3, Pete, Jim, & John - w/ whom He seemed to have a closer relationship with.
He took those 3 w/ Him to special places and events - the Mount of Transfiguration, the 3 were w/ Him when He raised the daughter of the synagogue leader from the dead, and this inner circle was w/ Him on the night He would be betrayed and arrested on His final journey to the cross.
We need others in our lives - we were created for community.
When we rely on our own perspective of how we are doing, we are bound to slip into convenient thinking to go easy on ourselves, to compromise our integrity of these characteristics we are trying to establish in our lives.
We need trusted truth-tellers.
Preferably those not directly impacted by what we do, who can help us stay on course.
If you can’t name any truth-tellers in your life, or if you have avoided or undervalued the ones you have, it’s time to change.
Having truth-tellers is probably the greatest resource for growth that we can have.
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Proverbs 27:6
Bring truth-tellers into your life - it allows accountability - and enables us to open up - to share and listen, to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is one of the most powerful things we can do in building relationships w/ others.
They know you’re not perfect, so don’t act like you are.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,12
We also need encouragers
When things aren’t going so smooth, when life is beating you up, when you want to pinch the heads off your kids, when you work for that pushy, arrogant boss - we need others to lift us up out of the doldrums - we need encouragement
We need someone to tell us everything is going to be OK
Sometimes life just rips out the capacity to believe in what you are capable of doing - sometimes we have waited for something to happen for long we don’t ever think it’s going to happen. Sometimes it’s attempts that failed, “I gave it my best shot, it didn’t happen”
So when times get tough we just lower our stand/expect.
We need others to put the ‘courage’ back in our lives.
We need others helping us to believe that we can do all and everything God has called us to do - to say, YES U CAN!
“let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together... but let us encourage one another.” Hebrews 10:24-25
This habit, Intimate Community, along w/ Solitude and Prayer
will keep us focused - to develop these habits in life will equate to the character traits we all long for.
To try our best to be just like Jesus.
Our Character is essentially the sum of our habits
If we can see what God sees, we’ll do what God says
Sunday, January 07, 2007
GETTING FOCUS* - "FOCUS on..... FIGHTING" - by Cathleen Parks
A few weeks ago Joe and I talked about this series and we set today as a day that I would give the message.
1 Timothy 6:3-12 - "If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.
6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
11But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness (acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin), godliness (god-like) , faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith."
Share thoughts on how I felt ‘this must be it’ and how God molded that into an emphasis on gentleness. Specifically...fighting with gentleness.
As I pondered the 2 points we are going to be looking at I had a moment of reality. Do you ever have those moments when God gives you the opportunity see something in it’s full perspective? 20/20 I had one of those moments. It was humbling - it was very dramatic for me. God allowed me to see, in a flash, how much he has changed me in some areas in my life and as I stood there pondering these changes, He spoke very gently to my heart and said, ‘You are going to share a testimony you didn’t even know you had.’ Our testimony = our story
Revelation 12:10b-11 tells us....
For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. 11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;
So many times I’ve heard people say, “I don’t have a good testimony - I don’t have anything interesting to say.” Expand
Testimony is simply the story of our life or of specific events (in the short term or long term) in our lives. And the beautiful thing about sharing our testimony is that you never know what God is going to do with it. But the Bible is clear that ‘the word of our testimony’ is what overcomes the power of Satan in our lives and in the lives of others. Our testimony injects hope, faith, endurance and the truth of God’s promises or His faithfulness into the lives of those around us and encourages us to keep going and growing in Christ. So when God said to me ‘You are going to share a testimony you didn’t even know you had.’ I knew exactly what He meant. Because when it comes to fighting with gentleness, this has been a huge process of repentance, restoration and change in my life. And I’ll tell you right now that I have not fully arrived but as that old cigarette commercial says ‘I’ve come a long way baby’. And so when I talk about the things I am going to talk about today I speak from experience. I share with you a history of behavior that is embarrassing, and frankly, shameful to me. But I rejoice in the journey that God has lead me on and the renewal he has done in my life in regards to fighting with gentleness.
When you are in deep relationship with others you will argue......period. I’m not talking about knock down drag outs. I’m saying there will be times that you don’t agree with one another and you will disagree with enough conviction that you’ll feel you need to defend/explain yourself, or to attempt to change someone else’s mind.
You will argue for a variety of reasons - and you will do this because that’s what people who are in deep relationship do - occasionally. It’s just gonna happen. Arguing is not bad. Disagreeing with someone or having them disagree with you is not bad. HOW you argue is where things can turn bad. Your method of argument is powerful in determining the outcome of your argument. By outcome I don’t mean who wins. I mean will you and the other individual walk away with a greater respect and trust for one another or will you emotionally and/or spiritually limp away? If we truly love those in our lives we must be committed to learn and put into practice methods of arguing that are productive.
First point that God brought to my mind earlier this week and that hind sight reminds me it’s a road I’ve walked...
Two points
1. Learn to motivate instead of manipulate
motivation is stemmed by logical discussion or heartfelt desire whereas manipulation is stemmed by the need to be right or get what you want
KEY: when you are arguing with someone do your words influence their emotions or their minds?
An argument that is conducted in a God honoring way will communicate mutual respect even in the midst of the debate. Are your words communicating that what your have to say is important to you and that you love the other individual enough that you want them to understand why you think or feel the way you do? Or are your words failing to communicate and simply resulting in an emotional outpouring on your part or drawing an emotional response from the person your talking to? Ask yourself:
Can the person you are arguing with truly discern the purpose behind what your saying or is the purpose of the argument lost in the emotion of the moment?
2. Lower your voice, I can’t hear you.
sounds strange
When we arguing and we get to the place where we are just yelling, we are not being heard...period.
Demonstrate
How do I do it differently?
1. Check your motives
2. Check your voice
3. Check your volume
4. Check your self
5. Check your temper
An argument conducted in a God honoring way, that has a purpose, is okay. In fact it’s good. We learn about each other and from each other when we argue in the right way because these discussions become more about a passionate exchange of who we are and what is important to us than a yelling match. And argument based on emotions, or winning, or releasing frustration/anger is highly destructive. It tears at the essence of what a healthy relationship is founded on and that is trust, respect, love.
If you have been arguing in this destructive fashion and you want to purpose to change that behavior, there are some things you have to do as soon as you have the opportunity.
1. Confess to the person that you argue destructively with. Help them to see that you recognize and take responsibility for your actions. (Don’t hold them to the same standards you are holding yourself to!)
2. Repent/Renounce - turn away from
Proverbs 28:13 (New International Version)
13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
3. Make a game plan
4. Forgive yourself and the other individual
5. Confess your behavior to a trusted confidant
James 5:16 (New International Version)
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
6. Pray
Prayer:
Lord, I believe that what you’ve revealed to us today, by your Word and by your Spirit, are principles that are to change our lives. Your Word tells us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy but you come to bring abundant life. I ask you Lord today to reach out to each individual in this room who sees themselves reflected in this message. Show us where our arguments deviate from your character. Show us where our behavior reaps destruction in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Lord let your Spirit flow in this place. Let your forgiveness rest on us as we confess to you that we have sinned when we have used our words in hurtful ways or for personal gain. Thank you Lord that you are a forgiving God. Thank you Lord that we don’t have to learn on our own how to change our ways but that, if we invite you into this process, you will be with us every step of the way. Cause us to be sensitive to your Spirit, that when our motives or words get out of step, that we will feel the tug of your Spirit cautioning us stop before we sin. Thank you that living according to your principles brings us great satisfaction in our lives and in our relationships.
Amen
1 Timothy 6:3-12 - "If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.
6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
11But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness (acting in accord with divine or moral law : free from guilt or sin), godliness (god-like) , faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith."
Share thoughts on how I felt ‘this must be it’ and how God molded that into an emphasis on gentleness. Specifically...fighting with gentleness.
As I pondered the 2 points we are going to be looking at I had a moment of reality. Do you ever have those moments when God gives you the opportunity see something in it’s full perspective? 20/20 I had one of those moments. It was humbling - it was very dramatic for me. God allowed me to see, in a flash, how much he has changed me in some areas in my life and as I stood there pondering these changes, He spoke very gently to my heart and said, ‘You are going to share a testimony you didn’t even know you had.’ Our testimony = our story
Revelation 12:10b-11 tells us....
For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. 11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;
So many times I’ve heard people say, “I don’t have a good testimony - I don’t have anything interesting to say.” Expand
Testimony is simply the story of our life or of specific events (in the short term or long term) in our lives. And the beautiful thing about sharing our testimony is that you never know what God is going to do with it. But the Bible is clear that ‘the word of our testimony’ is what overcomes the power of Satan in our lives and in the lives of others. Our testimony injects hope, faith, endurance and the truth of God’s promises or His faithfulness into the lives of those around us and encourages us to keep going and growing in Christ. So when God said to me ‘You are going to share a testimony you didn’t even know you had.’ I knew exactly what He meant. Because when it comes to fighting with gentleness, this has been a huge process of repentance, restoration and change in my life. And I’ll tell you right now that I have not fully arrived but as that old cigarette commercial says ‘I’ve come a long way baby’. And so when I talk about the things I am going to talk about today I speak from experience. I share with you a history of behavior that is embarrassing, and frankly, shameful to me. But I rejoice in the journey that God has lead me on and the renewal he has done in my life in regards to fighting with gentleness.
When you are in deep relationship with others you will argue......period. I’m not talking about knock down drag outs. I’m saying there will be times that you don’t agree with one another and you will disagree with enough conviction that you’ll feel you need to defend/explain yourself, or to attempt to change someone else’s mind.
You will argue for a variety of reasons - and you will do this because that’s what people who are in deep relationship do - occasionally. It’s just gonna happen. Arguing is not bad. Disagreeing with someone or having them disagree with you is not bad. HOW you argue is where things can turn bad. Your method of argument is powerful in determining the outcome of your argument. By outcome I don’t mean who wins. I mean will you and the other individual walk away with a greater respect and trust for one another or will you emotionally and/or spiritually limp away? If we truly love those in our lives we must be committed to learn and put into practice methods of arguing that are productive.
First point that God brought to my mind earlier this week and that hind sight reminds me it’s a road I’ve walked...
Two points
1. Learn to motivate instead of manipulate
motivation is stemmed by logical discussion or heartfelt desire whereas manipulation is stemmed by the need to be right or get what you want
KEY: when you are arguing with someone do your words influence their emotions or their minds?
An argument that is conducted in a God honoring way will communicate mutual respect even in the midst of the debate. Are your words communicating that what your have to say is important to you and that you love the other individual enough that you want them to understand why you think or feel the way you do? Or are your words failing to communicate and simply resulting in an emotional outpouring on your part or drawing an emotional response from the person your talking to? Ask yourself:
Can the person you are arguing with truly discern the purpose behind what your saying or is the purpose of the argument lost in the emotion of the moment?
2. Lower your voice, I can’t hear you.
sounds strange
When we arguing and we get to the place where we are just yelling, we are not being heard...period.
Demonstrate
How do I do it differently?
1. Check your motives
2. Check your voice
3. Check your volume
4. Check your self
5. Check your temper
An argument conducted in a God honoring way, that has a purpose, is okay. In fact it’s good. We learn about each other and from each other when we argue in the right way because these discussions become more about a passionate exchange of who we are and what is important to us than a yelling match. And argument based on emotions, or winning, or releasing frustration/anger is highly destructive. It tears at the essence of what a healthy relationship is founded on and that is trust, respect, love.
If you have been arguing in this destructive fashion and you want to purpose to change that behavior, there are some things you have to do as soon as you have the opportunity.
1. Confess to the person that you argue destructively with. Help them to see that you recognize and take responsibility for your actions. (Don’t hold them to the same standards you are holding yourself to!)
2. Repent/Renounce - turn away from
Proverbs 28:13 (New International Version)
13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
3. Make a game plan
4. Forgive yourself and the other individual
5. Confess your behavior to a trusted confidant
James 5:16 (New International Version)
16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
6. Pray
Prayer:
Lord, I believe that what you’ve revealed to us today, by your Word and by your Spirit, are principles that are to change our lives. Your Word tells us that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy but you come to bring abundant life. I ask you Lord today to reach out to each individual in this room who sees themselves reflected in this message. Show us where our arguments deviate from your character. Show us where our behavior reaps destruction in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Lord let your Spirit flow in this place. Let your forgiveness rest on us as we confess to you that we have sinned when we have used our words in hurtful ways or for personal gain. Thank you Lord that you are a forgiving God. Thank you Lord that we don’t have to learn on our own how to change our ways but that, if we invite you into this process, you will be with us every step of the way. Cause us to be sensitive to your Spirit, that when our motives or words get out of step, that we will feel the tug of your Spirit cautioning us stop before we sin. Thank you that living according to your principles brings us great satisfaction in our lives and in our relationships.
Amen
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