Luke 5:27 - 32
I love this passage of scripture for a few reasons, but mainly b/c it’s a party. You’ve got this guy, Levi (Matthew) who was a tax collector, which by the way everyone hates. Over the years we’ve had these different professions that everyone despises, like politicians, and for a while it was lawyers and attorneys, I think now maybe it’s Insurance companies, maybe the gas and oil guys. In Levi’s case, the tax collector - They worked for the Roman Empire and they knew everyone in the community and they figured out they could make a bunch of money by taxing extra for themselves on top of what Rome expected.
People hated them - Levi was one of those tax col. - Then Jesus sees him and calls him out, which is one of those great things about Jesus, call to Himself the most unexpected of people. If you were to pick potential candidates of a top 12 for Jesus to work with, Levi wouldn’t have been on the list.
But Jesus does call him, and he responds, which I think is a wonderful reminder that we should never under estimate who is open to God.
Most of us, if we knew Levi, knew his life, his job, his crowd, we’d think, this guy would never be open to God, much less
give up his occupation, his career, his income and follow
Jesus Christ and all that He offers.
So as soon as Levi becomes a follower of Christ he does just the wrong the thing and he hosts a Huge party with all his wicked, vile friends and invites Jesus, and we all know we shouldn’t mix God in with corrupt people. But Levi doesn’t know any better, so he invites all his godless tax-collector friends and also invites the savior of the world.
Holy and unholy in the same room at the same time.
You see here, Levi seems to connect with what’s really on God’s heart -
that God wants us to celebrate what He’s done in our lives and invite everybody.
(Hence, Party Theology)
I think alot of us know God theology, Theology of the 2nd Coming, all these other theologies,
but we really have this under-developed party theology.
We’ve forgotten how to enjoy life, how to enjoy people, and how to create an environment where people who are
searching for God can find the God that’s searching for them.
People who really connect to God understand that the heart of God for all of us is to not be consumed by what’s going on all around us in the world, but not to run from it either, but to create environments where people who are searching for God can find the God that’s searching for them.
I think here with Levi he had engaged in a relationship with God that made a difference to him, something was going on inside of him and he was compelled to do something about it. Do you think that sometimes the reason people do not
engage others about a relationship with God is b/c their own relationship with God is lacking, it doesn’t appear to be doing anything for us, to us, we don’t see the power of God in our lives?
The truth of the matter is we cannot move into a Party
Theology until we are fully alive - we have to begin to enjoy our lives, a life that God and us enjoy together that’s filled with pleasure and astonishment and wonder and beauty and laughter -
Start enjoying you life
Do whatever you have to do -
If you need to make some changes in order to really enjoy the life God has given you here on this earth, then make some changes. If you need to change your career, change your career, if there has to be some dramatic changes do something pro-active, if your married and your miserable - don’t change your spouse - get some help, check out our
series, ‘Desperate Households”
We’re not supposed to live our lives miserable that we’re are alive.
No matter how much you know about God, no matter how much you know about the bible, if you’re not living a life that’s fully alive, you have really nothing to offer a person without God.
Levi found something worth sharing, worth inviting his friends into, and the only friends he had were corrupt, wicked, sinful people and he was very fortunate to discover that Jesus loves people just like that.
To have a Party Theology begins when you have a life
compelling enough that other people want to be around you.
How - we are only alive in Christ - it’s only when we focus on developing a relationship w/ Christ that we can fully enjoy life.
I want to challenge today to start enjoying your life and
creating environments where people can be a part of that life with you.
Then there’s a place in Luke 14 were Jesus begins to talk to them about a Party Theology - he paints a picture of how to relate in these party environments that honors God and affects people in a positive way.
Luke 14:7-11
Work party - people brown-nosing to get in good around the influential people.
There’s something inside us like this radar for hypocrisy - although we like the idea of people brown-nosing us for like this sense of power - in the end when it comes down to it those are not the people we are going to listen to in important matters, decisions...
What Jesus was saying was that you need to earn the right to be heard - A part of the way we begin to have influence and affect people’s lives for the good is you don’t want to push your way into this place where people are forced to
listen to you, but you actually want to live the kind of life that people invite you into a conversation with them.
I think this is where some really well meaning sincere christians have messed up - I understand the reasoning,
“Well I have the truth and I have an obligation to declare that truth to everyone, so I don’t care if people don’t want to
listen, they’re gonna hear it, it’s my job to cram it down their throats.” (guy comes up to us at work - do you know christ as savior?) (kids veggies - something inside of us that rejects what were being forced to eat, or consume, to partake of, yet at the same time we’ll eat garbage if we think it’s against the rules.)
Ironically what I think we’ve done is we’ve taken this amazingly beautiful gift of Jesus and made it like vegetables.
This is why Jesus used very harsh phrase when He said, “don’t cast a pearl among swine”
which is not a real positive image - but what He was saying was don’t try to shove this wonderful thing down
someone’s throat. Just offer food to those who are hungry.
Don’t force it, just be available for those who are searching.
So Jesus says, don’t be like this, don’t take the position where you have to be pushed down and away and
humiliated, take the lowliest position, just serve people, just love people, just be available. Then watch them pull you into conversation and pull you in closer.
(tickets at a game - better seats in a lower section)
What happens in the more important issues of life, if you don’t earn the right to be heard, but just demand to step in the other person’s space, that person will just cut you off and when they need someone in their life - they wont turn to you.
We need to earn the right to be heard.
Be a person of humility,take the lowest place and be invited into someone’s life - don’t just try and crash the party.
vs.12-14
Jesus said if want a proper Party Theology, to throw a party where God will really thrive in - you need to make friends with people who need friends.
He’s not saying not to enjoy your family and those friends you already have, but if all we ever do is throw parties for those that can throw parties for us, then were missing it.
As a follower of Jesus Christ then our lives have to be open to those we may not otherwise even care about.
The reason people are attractive and have many friends friends is b/c their relationships are not about themselves - who really wants to build a friendship w/ someone that’s just a taker. So look to those who really need to be loved, and cared about, and embraced (Montrose Street Reach).
Enjoy life - live the life that’s compelling so others want to be a part of it -
Earn the right to speak into their lives - earn the right to speak this life-changing message of Jesus Christ from your mouth to their heart.
How many people have invited you to share your life with them?
I think we get caught up spending all of our free and extra time with other christians we claim, “I’d like to be a part of non-believers lives and share the message, but I just don’t have the time or room in my schedule.”
It’s like we’re all in this spiritual jacuzzi - you know?
I’m comfortable with these people -
Think about it - Hotel jac. - people in it - you dont want to join in with strangers - your family of 4 waits for it to empty out - but as soon as it does another group of people jump in, b/c they’re thinking the same thing - you never get in by yourself and say, ‘I want 7 strangers to jump in with me” - don’t do that!
I think what happens alot of times is we live our lives in the jac. of relationships. We have a group of people we enjoy, they enjoy us, were comfortable - so we don’t have room in the jac. for other people.
We get caught up in only be inviting to parties that they know they’ll get invited back -
so when someone outside that circle invites - GO -
don’t use being a christian as an excuse to not spend meaningful time with people who don’t know God.
Then don’t go there and tell them everything they’re doing is wrong - your role isn’t to be the minor prophet -
your role is just to be a loving, caring friend. And friendship is what
invites deep intimacy and opportunity for life change.
Then Jesus continued in vs.
15When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, "Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God."
Which means happy is the person who is invited to the party of God. read on vs. 16-21
What Jesus is really pressing against us is, we need to let people say NO for themselves.
A lot of times what happens is we know we’ve got something really important to give away and we know there are people who really need God, but we say NO for them in our brains - have you ever done that?
I know in the past I’ve done just that - there’s no way so-n-so would even give me the time of day..
But really we have no clue, no clue... how many times they drove by a church and wondered if God was real... how many times they have screamed out into space, “God are You out there?”... and we say NO for them.
We invite folks to the party of God and everyone’s got the same excuses, this stuff is not new, ‘I have places to go, things to do, people to see’.
Right, they said, bought a field, got to go see it - got 5 oxen, have things to do - just got married, have people to see.
I do like for those that are single, the 1st 2 said ‘please
excuse, please excuse, but the 3rd said, I just got married, I’m not allowed!’
Who is it in your life right now you’ve already said NO for?
For whatever reason, their life is too good, their life is too bad, they’re very immoral, not smart enough, too smart, Who is it in your life you’ve already said NO for and in your brain you’ve already had the conversation but you never let them get involved.
Don’t say No for them
There was study done and they said the #1 reason people came and attended a church is b/c they were invited...
There are other reasons, but #1 by far - invited.
This is what Levi did - this is what Jesus is talking about here in ch. 14 and the big party
vs.21-24
I love the fact that the servants did all this yet there were compelled to tell the master. “there’s still a lot more room”
The master said, “go beat the bushes” and what He’s telling us is to never under-estimate the generosity of God.
1st they invited all the people that thought should be invited,
and those people said NO - and they went outside and thought, well.. I guess if Jesus wants a lot of people at His party we’re going to have to invite these people - then they came back and said there’s still more room and He said, no you haven’t gone far enough out. We must not under-estimate the generosity of God.
The person we don’t love, God does - the person we’re not interested in, God’s interested in that person - the person who seems the farthest away, God may be speaking more profoundly to them that we’d ever know.
Listen, we must be open and available to hear God.
To be led by the Holy Spirit.
( I pray this all the time - it goes with the prayer of I want to walk in the Spirit, not under Joe’s control, but God’s control -
so I also add that God would lead me to speak to those who I may THINK are far from being open to God, but really, I don’t know... so I ask God to direct me to the right street people asking for money or some sort of charity on the side of the road or walking down the street or any situation)
- tell story of Stephanie
I’m reminded that in life, God is always more generous than me - So I don’t want to under-estimate what God is going to do, I just can’t allow myself do that.
So I’m going to love and care for as many people He leads my way - We are just to Love them til they say WHY?
then we tell them it’s Jesus.
Success is not in results, it’s in obedience.
Write down names of 2 people/couples/families that do not Jesus Christ and pray for them until they do.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Desperate Households - Desperate Parenting by Cathleen Parks
Desperately Surviving the Kids
Transition video (I work with Monkeys commercial) - new job
Well........we are in our third week of desperate households. This week is Desperate Parenting.
I e-mailed a friend in California this week and mentioned that I was teaching on this subject this weekend.
i said this should be easy - all just give examples of everything stupid I did just this week and I’ll have the message - done.
Parenting. It is a daunting task. Our toughest job.
Our most satisfying job.
Our scariest job.
There is nothing more intimidating that looking into the eyes of a little person and realizing that his/her well-being is totally on your shoulders. Not only the simple stuff (food, clothes, a bed to sleep in) that’s easy. It’s the less simple stuff that gets you. What kind of person will she be? Will she see the good in others or enjoy the sport of locker room gossip where anybody is a target? Will he settle his arguments with patience and integrity or be quick to raise his voice or use his fists?
So what makes the difference between raising a child that makes your heart swell or breaks your heart?
Is it all up in the air or do you actually influence the outcome? Prov. 22:6 has this to say ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
That sure indicates to me that we have a whole lot to do with the type of adults our kids become. So, what is the first step to raising adults. Expand (Not children, adults)
The very first and very hard step is to see your children realistically. This is very hard. Something happens to us when they are born. It’s like these parent eyes are implanted over our regular eyes and all of a sudden we see things about our children very differently than we thought we would before we had children. Do you remember before you had children and you would watch other people (at a restaurant, family, at the grocery store) with their children and you use to say..............& you did this, we all did.........’I would never.....’ Do you remember the first day that you realized you just did one of your I will nevers? And unless your paying attention, it may slip under your radar, until you do it the second or tenth time!
Parents, let’s face it - we really are blind. We just don’t see when these perfect, wonderful little darlings are playing us like a finely tuned instrument! I work at a private school and it is my job to enroll new students. But we have a selective enrollment process and one of the criteria would be that incoming students have grades of a certain standard or higher. Expand on parents handing report cards or telling of no discipline issues while you are on the phone with the other school. -
Parent eyes
Off the hook - born little boogers
Expand with looking at the ‘we corrupt them point of view’.
Proof that you get to get off the hook.
Genesis 8:21b every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood
1. See your kids realistically.
Realize that when your little sweet darling is batting her eyes at you she is not being sweet and cute she is manipulating you and your falling for it! Realize that those funny little white lies turn into big ugly ones.
Remember that if we aren’t realistic about where our kids are we cannot be a support to them.
2. Discipline accordingly
Let your discipline be appropriate. Evaluate the issue - where was the heart? Was this an honest mistake moment, a I made a mistake and then thought I would get in big trouble and tried to cover it up moment, or an I did it - I knew I did it and I was hoping like heck to not get get caught or to get away with it moment?
Proverbs 29:17
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul
Discipline, when done right, is not only good, it is expected. The Bible has a lot to say about disciplining our children and it is very clear that God expect us to do so. If fact Proverbs 13:24 says, ‘A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
Never discipline in anger - tell story
3. See yourself realistically
Surround yourself with people whose opinion you value and trust. Allow them to speak truth into your life.
Explain spanking video w/ Brie and
How many of us would chose to never speak to that person again?
4. Listen with humility
Eph 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
You have to allow others to speak the truth in love to you. The issue is ‘how are they speaking’?
Ideas of where, building real relationship
Allow God to speak to you through others
Mark 2:2-4 A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. He was teaching the Word. 3They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. 4When they weren't able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher.
5. Allow others to take you to Jesus, be available to be carried
6. Be a stretcher bearer
With the friends we just spoke of &with your kids.
Take your kids to the feet of Jesus. Explain biblical principal to them. Remember the scripture we looked at earlier?
Pr. 22:6 ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
This is part of that training.
Tell story of fruit.
She needed to be lead to Jesus. That is my primary job as a parent - to lead my kids to Jesus.
Transition video (I work with Monkeys commercial) - new job
Well........we are in our third week of desperate households. This week is Desperate Parenting.
I e-mailed a friend in California this week and mentioned that I was teaching on this subject this weekend.
i said this should be easy - all just give examples of everything stupid I did just this week and I’ll have the message - done.
Parenting. It is a daunting task. Our toughest job.
Our most satisfying job.
Our scariest job.
There is nothing more intimidating that looking into the eyes of a little person and realizing that his/her well-being is totally on your shoulders. Not only the simple stuff (food, clothes, a bed to sleep in) that’s easy. It’s the less simple stuff that gets you. What kind of person will she be? Will she see the good in others or enjoy the sport of locker room gossip where anybody is a target? Will he settle his arguments with patience and integrity or be quick to raise his voice or use his fists?
So what makes the difference between raising a child that makes your heart swell or breaks your heart?
Is it all up in the air or do you actually influence the outcome? Prov. 22:6 has this to say ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
That sure indicates to me that we have a whole lot to do with the type of adults our kids become. So, what is the first step to raising adults. Expand (Not children, adults)
The very first and very hard step is to see your children realistically. This is very hard. Something happens to us when they are born. It’s like these parent eyes are implanted over our regular eyes and all of a sudden we see things about our children very differently than we thought we would before we had children. Do you remember before you had children and you would watch other people (at a restaurant, family, at the grocery store) with their children and you use to say..............& you did this, we all did.........’I would never.....’ Do you remember the first day that you realized you just did one of your I will nevers? And unless your paying attention, it may slip under your radar, until you do it the second or tenth time!
Parents, let’s face it - we really are blind. We just don’t see when these perfect, wonderful little darlings are playing us like a finely tuned instrument! I work at a private school and it is my job to enroll new students. But we have a selective enrollment process and one of the criteria would be that incoming students have grades of a certain standard or higher. Expand on parents handing report cards or telling of no discipline issues while you are on the phone with the other school. -
Parent eyes
Off the hook - born little boogers
Expand with looking at the ‘we corrupt them point of view’.
Proof that you get to get off the hook.
Genesis 8:21b every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood
1. See your kids realistically.
Realize that when your little sweet darling is batting her eyes at you she is not being sweet and cute she is manipulating you and your falling for it! Realize that those funny little white lies turn into big ugly ones.
Remember that if we aren’t realistic about where our kids are we cannot be a support to them.
2. Discipline accordingly
Let your discipline be appropriate. Evaluate the issue - where was the heart? Was this an honest mistake moment, a I made a mistake and then thought I would get in big trouble and tried to cover it up moment, or an I did it - I knew I did it and I was hoping like heck to not get get caught or to get away with it moment?
Proverbs 29:17
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul
Discipline, when done right, is not only good, it is expected. The Bible has a lot to say about disciplining our children and it is very clear that God expect us to do so. If fact Proverbs 13:24 says, ‘A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
Never discipline in anger - tell story
3. See yourself realistically
Surround yourself with people whose opinion you value and trust. Allow them to speak truth into your life.
Explain spanking video w/ Brie and
How many of us would chose to never speak to that person again?
4. Listen with humility
Eph 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
You have to allow others to speak the truth in love to you. The issue is ‘how are they speaking’?
Ideas of where, building real relationship
Allow God to speak to you through others
Mark 2:2-4 A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. He was teaching the Word. 3They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. 4When they weren't able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher.
5. Allow others to take you to Jesus, be available to be carried
6. Be a stretcher bearer
With the friends we just spoke of &with your kids.
Take your kids to the feet of Jesus. Explain biblical principal to them. Remember the scripture we looked at earlier?
Pr. 22:6 ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
This is part of that training.
Tell story of fruit.
She needed to be lead to Jesus. That is my primary job as a parent - to lead my kids to Jesus.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Desperate Households - Desperate For Intimacy by Cathleen Parks
Series: Desperate Households - Desperate bedrooms - desperate 4 intimacy
(basic outline)
8 steps to intimacy
The look
The flirt
The handhold
The hug
The kiss
The make out
The Touch
SEX
Where will you draw the line?
Bible says sex reserved for marriage
Thess. 4:3-4 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable"
Wanting line drawn for you = how far can I go & still be pure?
Wanting to go right to the line, take it to the edge
such as,
- Speed limit
- Taxes - loophole
Sex like taxes - how much can I get out of this without going too far? Is there a loophole? Is there a way to get around the rules?
It’s not just sex, but many areas of our lives.
Bible calls this our sinful nature - Gal. 5:16-17 "If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires. The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other. They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should."
Gal. 5:19-21 "People's desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds. They worship idols, practice witchcraft, hate others, and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are envious. They get drunk, carry on at wild parties, and do other evil things as well. I told you before, and I am telling you again: No one who does these things will share in the blessings of God's kingdom."
Old Testament - people wanted lines drawn for them
God made it simple - He gave the 10 Commandments
Define a sabbath = define sex
Pharisees came up with literally 100’s of rules just concerning the sabbath. 1000’s of rules of how to live overall
God never intended us to live by a rule book but instead by a heart that desires to honor Him, and in that desire, to seek purity
Stop taking all of the Galatians issues and playing with the lines. Instead consider the moments. In this moment of conversation - with my words - in handling my anger - in my relationships - in my finances - with my body -
am I honoring God?
In all of these areas, you must decide where your line is. Especially regarding sex.
**Establish your line ahead of time!
Heat of the moments, heart racing, brain shuts down - sexual autopilot
Your line is your manual override switch
Single - figure out where your line is - establish it ahead of time
Married - your line is at the look
What is someone tries to go past the line? Look at Joseph - RUN!
8 steps for single people - but 4 steps that married people need to be keenly aware of
Talk
Time
Trust
Touch
Expand
Story of Pastor having affair with another woman - it was too late before sex ever happened. Married people - RUN -
stay away
So what do you do if you think it’s too late? Single or married - you look at your steps and you think ‘It’s too late.
I know where I am or where I’ve been and it’s too late.’
Know that it’s never too late.
We serve a God of great mercy. Mercies are new every morning.
Our God did not come to condemn us but to save us.
How are we saved from our sin? Repentance. Turn and go the other way.
Repentance leads to maturity. God’s will for each of us is maturity in Him
What if you had a baby that refused to eat? (Allison)
Nature course of maturity
(CONFESSION VIDEO - Desperate Housewives)
1 Peter 2:2 "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation"
Today - God is calling you.
Calling you to stop being desperate for intimacy as we’ve evaluated it. But start being desperate for intimacy with Him.
Intimacy with God comes as you drink of His pure spiritual milk. Seeking purity, ingesting into your spirit that with is pure.
If you wish to grow up in your salvation - drink of His purity. Put aside your spiritual junk food. Christ didn’t come to condone our sin - He came to die for it. He died for it. That’s why His mercies are new every morning. Because He so desperately wants you to repent - go the other way and in that become intimate with Jesus.
(basic outline)
8 steps to intimacy
The look
The flirt
The handhold
The hug
The kiss
The make out
The Touch
SEX
Where will you draw the line?
Bible says sex reserved for marriage
Thess. 4:3-4 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable"
Wanting line drawn for you = how far can I go & still be pure?
Wanting to go right to the line, take it to the edge
such as,
- Speed limit
- Taxes - loophole
Sex like taxes - how much can I get out of this without going too far? Is there a loophole? Is there a way to get around the rules?
It’s not just sex, but many areas of our lives.
Bible calls this our sinful nature - Gal. 5:16-17 "If you are guided by the Spirit, you won't obey your selfish desires. The Spirit and your desires are enemies of each other. They are always fighting each other and keeping you from doing what you feel you should."
Gal. 5:19-21 "People's desires make them give in to immoral ways, filthy thoughts, and shameful deeds. They worship idols, practice witchcraft, hate others, and are hard to get along with. People become jealous, angry, and selfish. They not only argue and cause trouble, but they are envious. They get drunk, carry on at wild parties, and do other evil things as well. I told you before, and I am telling you again: No one who does these things will share in the blessings of God's kingdom."
Old Testament - people wanted lines drawn for them
God made it simple - He gave the 10 Commandments
Define a sabbath = define sex
Pharisees came up with literally 100’s of rules just concerning the sabbath. 1000’s of rules of how to live overall
God never intended us to live by a rule book but instead by a heart that desires to honor Him, and in that desire, to seek purity
Stop taking all of the Galatians issues and playing with the lines. Instead consider the moments. In this moment of conversation - with my words - in handling my anger - in my relationships - in my finances - with my body -
am I honoring God?
In all of these areas, you must decide where your line is. Especially regarding sex.
**Establish your line ahead of time!
Heat of the moments, heart racing, brain shuts down - sexual autopilot
Your line is your manual override switch
Single - figure out where your line is - establish it ahead of time
Married - your line is at the look
What is someone tries to go past the line? Look at Joseph - RUN!
8 steps for single people - but 4 steps that married people need to be keenly aware of
Talk
Time
Trust
Touch
Expand
Story of Pastor having affair with another woman - it was too late before sex ever happened. Married people - RUN -
stay away
So what do you do if you think it’s too late? Single or married - you look at your steps and you think ‘It’s too late.
I know where I am or where I’ve been and it’s too late.’
Know that it’s never too late.
We serve a God of great mercy. Mercies are new every morning.
Our God did not come to condemn us but to save us.
How are we saved from our sin? Repentance. Turn and go the other way.
Repentance leads to maturity. God’s will for each of us is maturity in Him
What if you had a baby that refused to eat? (Allison)
Nature course of maturity
(CONFESSION VIDEO - Desperate Housewives)
1 Peter 2:2 "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation"
Today - God is calling you.
Calling you to stop being desperate for intimacy as we’ve evaluated it. But start being desperate for intimacy with Him.
Intimacy with God comes as you drink of His pure spiritual milk. Seeking purity, ingesting into your spirit that with is pure.
If you wish to grow up in your salvation - drink of His purity. Put aside your spiritual junk food. Christ didn’t come to condone our sin - He came to die for it. He died for it. That’s why His mercies are new every morning. Because He so desperately wants you to repent - go the other way and in that become intimate with Jesus.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Desperate Households - Desperate Communication
‘Can We Talk?’
Jesus was very clear, that Father God sent Him His only Son to the world so that anyone anywhere anytime who believed in Him would not perish but they would have eternal life.
Jesus said in John 3:17 - God didn’t send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him. You know what this means?
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
It means you’ll never look into the eyes of any man or woman who doesn’t matter to GOD. Which means we can never look into the eyes of a friend, family member or spouse thinking they don’t matter to God. They do.
They’re loved by God, they’re precious, valued, treasured, they are so important that God sent His Son to pay for their sin, to redeem them, to rescue them - they matter to God.
We should do the same
1. People matter to God so they should matter to us.
We too should value everyone, treasure all, we should treat everyone like they’re precious, b/c they are precious.
And you know what, shame on us - we treat strangers better than we treat our spouse. We’re more polite w/ people we’ve never met, than we are to the one whom we pledged our lives.
We communicate to total strangers they are worth dressing up for, speaking correctly for, cleaning up for, preparing for.
Do you treat your spouse that way? What are you
communicating to the ones that matter most?
Everyone matters to God, they do, so that’s what we’ve been trying to communicate here at FOCUS from the beginning - People matter to God - you have extremely high value.
In all that you and I communicate, wouldn't it be great if we could all get that, understand that, communicate that.
But sometimes in a pace of life, in a desperate world, where desperate people do desperate things sometimes we get a bit off-track in our communication. We begin to communicate in what we say, how we act, what we do, we begin to
communicate that our spouse doesn’t matter, kids don’t
matter, friends don’t matter, we begin to communicate things that aren’t even true. Often we don’t even realize it while it’s
happening - we do later though, in others reactions towards us.
Patrick M. Lencioni a business guru says, there are 3 steps to practical, effective communication - which works in the home by the way are:
repetition
simple messages
multiple mediums
3 things, they have nothing to do w/ presentation style, speaking ability, none of that - they are just critical practices to communicate well.
Say what we mean often -
2. say it often
it’s all about repetition.
3. say it clearly - it’s just simple messages
are you saying it clearly that you love your spouse/ are you saying clearly that they matter? are you saying clearly to your friends that they are important? that they’re valued?
cherished?
You see the way you get to this point is step by step, really the way you get anywhere in life is step by step - how do you get to this place? step by step
How do I do that? 5 love lang.
Lencioni says you wanna communicate well you have to say it alot! and you better be clear!
Often times we’re not clear - I know I mess up in this area at home - (Joe Jibberish) we don’t listen carefully and we don’t say it clearly
Say it often, say it clearly - we all know what it’s like to be misunderstood - we all know this happens, this happens, and we argue, but it doesn’t get fixed by going up the stairs or out to the garage or to the computer
We must take time for each other - whether it’s a friend, or a child, or it’s your spouse - we must take time for each other.
If you want to be understood, you’ll have to communicate over and over again and make sure it’s clear.
(drive - thru confirmation)
We need clarity - too many of us in our relationships think we can move on w/out getting clarity and more often than not it bites us in the butt. We need to say it alot as a simple clear message.
4. Say it every way you can
Around here we’ve got only one message -you matter to God, Jesus died on a cross for you, if you come to Jesus it will change your life here and for eternity.
That’s pretty much the message we communicate every week. Many of you are thinking, “why can’t we have shorter sermons then?”
It’s b/c we’re trying to say it every way we can - so we say it w/ music, we say it w/ media, in teaching, in small group
discussion, we say it by the way we treat every person that walks in here, ‘you matter to God’
Many ways, every way we can, over and over, simple and clear message, and it drives me crazy that we can’t do it even better. This is how bizarre I am.
B/c it’s a message that matters so much! What better news is there? You can be forgiven your sin, you don’t have to live in shame and or guilt any longer, you can come clean
before God and live a new life now and forever!
So I go home and think about how can I say it even better - maybe I could stand on the other side of the TV
Don’t you think about this stuff, about the people that matter most in your life and how do I share and let them know how much I love and care for them?
How can I get this through? How can I communicate this?
This is important message to important people, like your kids, you say how can I tell them, so you grab their cute little cheeks and make them look at you - you think maybe if you look at me it will help, then you try something else, and you just keep trying all kinds of things.
So all of us need to keep repeating the message, making it simple and clear in every way we can.
Are you doing that in your marriage? How about the kids? Other family members, friends?
You matter, you’re important
Often problems in our communication are due to a lack
of thought given. We just don’t think about it - when we do we really are not putting a lot of thought into it - we rush off, we don’t communicate like we should - soooo...
let’s Stop and THINK
T ruth - Is what I am about to say true? Zech 8:16 “These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other”
before you speak, or erupt, or defend, or correct, or redirect, or discipline ask is it true? don’t say, “well I think so” what do you mean you think so... “well my mother’s brother’s
plumbers neighbors wife, she said...” What! that’s heresay
I don’t know if that’s true or not - you gotta know it’s true.
If it’s not true, you don’t want anyone to shape their life around it. “speak the truth to each other”
If we lie, not only does it do no good in the moment, but we lose our influence, as soon as we become liars in a relationship, our influence diminishes greatly, b/c trust is eroded.
(clip - lie son and mom)
door off hinges
you see trust is eroded - you lose influence
H elpful - Is it helpful?
will it make a difference, will it add value eph. 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
even if it’s true, if it’s not helpful, then what’s your motive?
I mportant - Is it Important?
“But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” Philippians 1:8
So the ? is in your marriage, your family, your friends stop and think is this making a contribution to them - if it is, they see how much you value them - were commun. love, that they matter - is it important?
N ecessary - Is it necessary? Do you need to say this? at this time? Is this critical to the cause? Your timing is critical to your communication. How many times have you been in an argument w/ spouse, child, parent, or friend and you said something - it just popped in your mind and shot out of your mouth! And by the look of the other persons face you know,
“Oh man - I shouldn’t of said that” do you know what I mean? Hey, it may be true, but not necessary, not now.
Is it necessary?
K ind - Is it kind?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another” Ephesians 4:32
“Kind words heal and help” Proverbs 15:4
That’s a good thing - especially after those stupid words that just shot out of your mouth.
Is it true, is it helpful, is it important, is it necessary, and if it’s all those things - can you say it in a kind way?can you be kind?
Be kind to your spouse - we have to teach our children to be kind and compassionate, so they need to see it in you - so stop and think - before you say something, before you blow up - teach our kids to be kind
(clip - table)
The very fact that the boy survived that dinner seems to be a miracle to me - now men, some of us spoke to our mothers like that - this is not about the boy, this is about us and we spoke that way and if we teach our boys, our children to
disrespect their mother -
then we’ve done a great disservice to them and our spouse. You say, ahh he’s just a boy, boys will be boys - no no boys will be men - that’s your job dad, that’s your job mom - and the same goes for our daughters will be ladies. Here’s the thing, that’s not a message you start when your son, your daughter is 17, that’s a message you start when your son/daughter is 2. We are kind to each other in our family, we love each other, we display it, we follow Christ’s example to love one another.
Before you speak, stop and think (review)
It’s not enough in a relationship to know how to
communicate - we must also know how to listen
(communicate vid)
What Did You Say? How to be a Good Listener?
1. Look at the Speaker
The whole listening process begins w/ giving the other
person your undivided attention.
Don’t try to catch up on unfinished work, do the dishes, stare off/ zone out in front of the TV (Cathleen; Commercial)
2. Don’t Interrupt
Most people react badly to being interrupted - how about you? You feel disrespected. Why do we do it?
- don’t place enough value on what other person has to say
- want to impress by showing how smart & intuitive they are
- too excited by convo to let them finish
Periods of silence gives a chance to reflect on what’s been said so we can respond appropriately.
3. Check Your Emotions
Don’t let your feelings overcome you - anger, excitement, needing to vent - It will cause you to not pay attention b/c you want to speak.
4. Suspend Your Judgement
Have you ever begun listening to another person tell a story and you started to respond before he or she was finished?
I think we all have. We cannot jump to conclusions and be a good listener at the same time. As we talk w/ others we have to wait and hear the whole story before we respond. If you don’t you may miss the most important thing they intended to say. (guy/girl do that in love story movie) (we say, S.Y.J)
5. Sum up
Listening is most effective when it active. So comment at a appropriate break in the convo. It lets the other know your actually paying attention, it reassures them that your not asleep. This avoids the ?, “What did I just say? Were you
listening to Me?
6. Ask Questions to Clarify
Ever notice that top news reporters are excellent listeners?
They ask follow-up ?’s to dig deeper. We need to do that in all of our communication.
You want to be a good listener, become a good reporter - gently ask follow-up ?’s and seek clarification.
Jesus was very clear, that Father God sent Him His only Son to the world so that anyone anywhere anytime who believed in Him would not perish but they would have eternal life.
Jesus said in John 3:17 - God didn’t send His Son into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him. You know what this means?
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
It means you’ll never look into the eyes of any man or woman who doesn’t matter to GOD. Which means we can never look into the eyes of a friend, family member or spouse thinking they don’t matter to God. They do.
They’re loved by God, they’re precious, valued, treasured, they are so important that God sent His Son to pay for their sin, to redeem them, to rescue them - they matter to God.
We should do the same
1. People matter to God so they should matter to us.
We too should value everyone, treasure all, we should treat everyone like they’re precious, b/c they are precious.
And you know what, shame on us - we treat strangers better than we treat our spouse. We’re more polite w/ people we’ve never met, than we are to the one whom we pledged our lives.
We communicate to total strangers they are worth dressing up for, speaking correctly for, cleaning up for, preparing for.
Do you treat your spouse that way? What are you
communicating to the ones that matter most?
Everyone matters to God, they do, so that’s what we’ve been trying to communicate here at FOCUS from the beginning - People matter to God - you have extremely high value.
In all that you and I communicate, wouldn't it be great if we could all get that, understand that, communicate that.
But sometimes in a pace of life, in a desperate world, where desperate people do desperate things sometimes we get a bit off-track in our communication. We begin to communicate in what we say, how we act, what we do, we begin to
communicate that our spouse doesn’t matter, kids don’t
matter, friends don’t matter, we begin to communicate things that aren’t even true. Often we don’t even realize it while it’s
happening - we do later though, in others reactions towards us.
Patrick M. Lencioni a business guru says, there are 3 steps to practical, effective communication - which works in the home by the way are:
repetition
simple messages
multiple mediums
3 things, they have nothing to do w/ presentation style, speaking ability, none of that - they are just critical practices to communicate well.
Say what we mean often -
2. say it often
it’s all about repetition.
3. say it clearly - it’s just simple messages
are you saying it clearly that you love your spouse/ are you saying clearly that they matter? are you saying clearly to your friends that they are important? that they’re valued?
cherished?
You see the way you get to this point is step by step, really the way you get anywhere in life is step by step - how do you get to this place? step by step
How do I do that? 5 love lang.
Lencioni says you wanna communicate well you have to say it alot! and you better be clear!
Often times we’re not clear - I know I mess up in this area at home - (Joe Jibberish) we don’t listen carefully and we don’t say it clearly
Say it often, say it clearly - we all know what it’s like to be misunderstood - we all know this happens, this happens, and we argue, but it doesn’t get fixed by going up the stairs or out to the garage or to the computer
We must take time for each other - whether it’s a friend, or a child, or it’s your spouse - we must take time for each other.
If you want to be understood, you’ll have to communicate over and over again and make sure it’s clear.
(drive - thru confirmation)
We need clarity - too many of us in our relationships think we can move on w/out getting clarity and more often than not it bites us in the butt. We need to say it alot as a simple clear message.
4. Say it every way you can
Around here we’ve got only one message -you matter to God, Jesus died on a cross for you, if you come to Jesus it will change your life here and for eternity.
That’s pretty much the message we communicate every week. Many of you are thinking, “why can’t we have shorter sermons then?”
It’s b/c we’re trying to say it every way we can - so we say it w/ music, we say it w/ media, in teaching, in small group
discussion, we say it by the way we treat every person that walks in here, ‘you matter to God’
Many ways, every way we can, over and over, simple and clear message, and it drives me crazy that we can’t do it even better. This is how bizarre I am.
B/c it’s a message that matters so much! What better news is there? You can be forgiven your sin, you don’t have to live in shame and or guilt any longer, you can come clean
before God and live a new life now and forever!
So I go home and think about how can I say it even better - maybe I could stand on the other side of the TV
Don’t you think about this stuff, about the people that matter most in your life and how do I share and let them know how much I love and care for them?
How can I get this through? How can I communicate this?
This is important message to important people, like your kids, you say how can I tell them, so you grab their cute little cheeks and make them look at you - you think maybe if you look at me it will help, then you try something else, and you just keep trying all kinds of things.
So all of us need to keep repeating the message, making it simple and clear in every way we can.
Are you doing that in your marriage? How about the kids? Other family members, friends?
You matter, you’re important
Often problems in our communication are due to a lack
of thought given. We just don’t think about it - when we do we really are not putting a lot of thought into it - we rush off, we don’t communicate like we should - soooo...
let’s Stop and THINK
T ruth - Is what I am about to say true? Zech 8:16 “These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other”
before you speak, or erupt, or defend, or correct, or redirect, or discipline ask is it true? don’t say, “well I think so” what do you mean you think so... “well my mother’s brother’s
plumbers neighbors wife, she said...” What! that’s heresay
I don’t know if that’s true or not - you gotta know it’s true.
If it’s not true, you don’t want anyone to shape their life around it. “speak the truth to each other”
If we lie, not only does it do no good in the moment, but we lose our influence, as soon as we become liars in a relationship, our influence diminishes greatly, b/c trust is eroded.
(clip - lie son and mom)
door off hinges
you see trust is eroded - you lose influence
H elpful - Is it helpful?
will it make a difference, will it add value eph. 4:29
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
even if it’s true, if it’s not helpful, then what’s your motive?
I mportant - Is it Important?
“But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” Philippians 1:8
So the ? is in your marriage, your family, your friends stop and think is this making a contribution to them - if it is, they see how much you value them - were commun. love, that they matter - is it important?
N ecessary - Is it necessary? Do you need to say this? at this time? Is this critical to the cause? Your timing is critical to your communication. How many times have you been in an argument w/ spouse, child, parent, or friend and you said something - it just popped in your mind and shot out of your mouth! And by the look of the other persons face you know,
“Oh man - I shouldn’t of said that” do you know what I mean? Hey, it may be true, but not necessary, not now.
Is it necessary?
K ind - Is it kind?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another” Ephesians 4:32
“Kind words heal and help” Proverbs 15:4
That’s a good thing - especially after those stupid words that just shot out of your mouth.
Is it true, is it helpful, is it important, is it necessary, and if it’s all those things - can you say it in a kind way?can you be kind?
Be kind to your spouse - we have to teach our children to be kind and compassionate, so they need to see it in you - so stop and think - before you say something, before you blow up - teach our kids to be kind
(clip - table)
The very fact that the boy survived that dinner seems to be a miracle to me - now men, some of us spoke to our mothers like that - this is not about the boy, this is about us and we spoke that way and if we teach our boys, our children to
disrespect their mother -
then we’ve done a great disservice to them and our spouse. You say, ahh he’s just a boy, boys will be boys - no no boys will be men - that’s your job dad, that’s your job mom - and the same goes for our daughters will be ladies. Here’s the thing, that’s not a message you start when your son, your daughter is 17, that’s a message you start when your son/daughter is 2. We are kind to each other in our family, we love each other, we display it, we follow Christ’s example to love one another.
Before you speak, stop and think (review)
It’s not enough in a relationship to know how to
communicate - we must also know how to listen
(communicate vid)
What Did You Say? How to be a Good Listener?
1. Look at the Speaker
The whole listening process begins w/ giving the other
person your undivided attention.
Don’t try to catch up on unfinished work, do the dishes, stare off/ zone out in front of the TV (Cathleen; Commercial)
2. Don’t Interrupt
Most people react badly to being interrupted - how about you? You feel disrespected. Why do we do it?
- don’t place enough value on what other person has to say
- want to impress by showing how smart & intuitive they are
- too excited by convo to let them finish
Periods of silence gives a chance to reflect on what’s been said so we can respond appropriately.
3. Check Your Emotions
Don’t let your feelings overcome you - anger, excitement, needing to vent - It will cause you to not pay attention b/c you want to speak.
4. Suspend Your Judgement
Have you ever begun listening to another person tell a story and you started to respond before he or she was finished?
I think we all have. We cannot jump to conclusions and be a good listener at the same time. As we talk w/ others we have to wait and hear the whole story before we respond. If you don’t you may miss the most important thing they intended to say. (guy/girl do that in love story movie) (we say, S.Y.J)
5. Sum up
Listening is most effective when it active. So comment at a appropriate break in the convo. It lets the other know your actually paying attention, it reassures them that your not asleep. This avoids the ?, “What did I just say? Were you
listening to Me?
6. Ask Questions to Clarify
Ever notice that top news reporters are excellent listeners?
They ask follow-up ?’s to dig deeper. We need to do that in all of our communication.
You want to be a good listener, become a good reporter - gently ask follow-up ?’s and seek clarification.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Are 1st Things 1st?
Are 1st Things 1st
The New Year is a time of renewing, reevaluating, and reprioritizing. It is a time to start over again. But if you are like me, the best intentions for a new exercise regimen or a new improved devotional plan seem to fade as quickly as they are made.
So we looked at possible causes for failure, then found out “HTBAEB”
Today were going to look at six symptoms of a life that's out of balance. You see here's the deal, if your life is crazy out of whack, that impedes your witness. People look at your life and wonder if Christianity is real and that's a lifestyle controlled by God, I'm not sure I want that!
How many of you remember the story of Abraham & Lot? Gen. 13-19
Gen. 19:14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry his daughters. He said, "Hurry and get out of this place, because the LORD is about to destroy the city!" But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.
Lot had lived so long and so contented among ungodly people that his life reflected as one of chaos and he was not a believable witness for God.
If our lives are out of whack - we become like Lot.
So to help you evaluate your life, I want to share with you a little test that will help keep us headed in the right direction. I'm going to give you six symptoms of a life that's out of balance, and you can determine whether you identify a lot or a little with each one. By the end of the test, you'll have a good feel for whether or not you're on track.
Symptom #1: Busyness.
People who are busy are always in a hurry. Time is their enemy because they never seem to have enough of it. Are you always running out the door, arriving just in time or a little late? Is your desk or house a mess? Is your car dirty? Is it because you just don't have time?
Don't get caught in the activity trap. Remember, it's not how much you do that's important, but whether you're accomplishing the things that are really important.
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:30
Symptom #2:Stress. Burnout
Do you often feel pressure and anxiety? Do you have trouble sleeping or waking up? Are you frequently uneasy, restless, indecisive, unhappy, irritable, or worn out? Do you lack connectedness in relationships and keep conversations at a superficial level? Do you feel hopelessly overwhelmed?
Richard Swenson, a medical doctor, wrote a book in which he disusses one of the major maladies of our time - anxiety & stress. He calls it "overload," & says that people are just plain overloaded.
1. We’re overloaded with commitments. We’ve committed ourselves to go here & there, to take part in this activity & that social function. As a result we soon begin meeting ourselves coming & going because we have overloaded ourselves in the area of commitments.
2. We’re also overloaded with possessions, he says. Our closets are full, & our garages are overflowing. We’ve gone into debt to pay for all of these things that we "simply must have." And now we’re so afraid that someone will steal them. We are overloaded in the area of possessions.
3. Thirdly, we have an overload in the area of work. We get up early, fight traffic, & experience intolerable working conditions because we have to if we’re going to pay for all those possessions that we’ve accumulated.
4. There is also an information overload. He said that as a doctor he has to read 220 articles a month just to keep up with all the changes in his profession. And now with the internet there’s an information superhighway. But the problem is that we can’t possibly absorb it all. So we feel an overload in this area, too.
Those symptoms of emotional stress are all indicators that you're doing a whole lot more than God designed you to do or that you're doing it in the wrong way.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philip. 4:6 (NIV)
Symptom #3: Low Grade Nagging Guilt.
Do you feel guilty because you're not accomplishing everything you think you should? Have you stopped liking yourself? Do you feel like you don't measure up?
Nagging guilt indicates that something is wrong.
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22 (NIV)
Symptom #4: Mounting Financial Problems:
Are you spending money you don't have? Are you going out to eat because you're too tired to cook? Are you shopping because you want to feel better? Are you working harder and longer but still can't keep up with the bills? Have you stopped giving to God because you just can't afford it? Do you seem to have a hole in your checkbook?
God may be using your financial struggles to get your attention.
The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets. Proverbs 21:20 (Living)
Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never, never fail you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 (Living)
I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want; Philip. 4:12 (Living)
Symptom #5: Spiritual Leakage.
How is your devotional life? Have you set aside quality time for God, or are you running out the door in the morning and crawling into bed exhausted at night with hardly a thought drifting God's way? If you treated a friend or a spouse the way you treat God, how good would your relationship be?
Here's a funny letter to a Pastor from a member:
Dear Pastor:
You often stress attendance at worship as being very important for a Christian, but I think a person has a right to miss now and then. I think every person ought to be excused for the following reasons and the number of times indicated.
Christmas Holidays (the Sunday before & after) 2
New Years (the party lasted too long) 1
Easter (get away for the holidays) 2
July 4th (national holidays) 1
Labor Day (need to get away) 2
Memorial Day (visit hometown folk) 1
School closing (kids need a break) 1
School reopens (one last fling) 1
Family reunions (mine & wife’s) 3
Sleep late (stayed up too long Saturday night) 9
Deaths in family 2
Anniversary (second honeymoon) 1
Sickness (one per family member) 5
Business trip (a must) 1
Vacation (three to four weeks) 6
Bad weather (ice, snow, rain, clouds) 2
Ball games 2
Races 2
Unexpected company (can’t walk out) 2
Time changes (spring & fall) 2
Special on TV (superbowl, etc) 3
Pastor, that leaves two Sundays per year. So, you can count on us to be in church on the 4th Sunday in February and the 3rd Sunday in August unless we are providentially hindered.
Sincerely,
A Faithful Member
The amount of time spent with the Lord in prayer is one of the greatest indicators of where your heart is with God.
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 (NKJV)
Symptom #6: Escapism Behavior. Do you sit down and mindlessly watch television for hours even if there's nothing in particular you want to watch? Do you grab something from the refrigerator, even if you're not hungry? Do you go shopping even when there's nothing you need? If you're doing any activity just to turn your mind off or get away from the pressures of life, you're practicing escapism behavior. Your life is out of balance.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (NIV)
So how did you do? If you're like me, you probably didn't score as well as you would have liked on that test. Keeping priorities in line isn't easy, and as I thought about those questions, I realized that even now my life isn't exactly where I would like it to be.
But be encouraged-everybody's priorities are constantly in flux. I don't know anybody who has their priorities perfectly together and everything in line. But wherever you are right now, you can determine in your heart that you're going to take a step in the right direction.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25 that “everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.” It's a process. You're not going to run a marathon the first time you put on your running shoes. But if you want to run a marathon, you have to start running.
So if your life doesn't have the balance you desire right now, let me encourage you to do two things.
First, commit yourself to taking control of your time,
because you can't control your priorities until you control your time.
“So be careful how you live. Live as men who are wise and not foolish.
Make the best use of your time...” Ephesians 5:15-16
And second, commit to giving your first and best time to God.
Even if you're not a morning person, I'd encourage you to start your day with God. If you give God the first minutes, He can transform the rest of your day through His Spirit, Who will help you discern when to say yes and when to say no.
Then also give Him your best time.
What time of the day or evening are you functioning at your best?
Whatever that is, block some of that time to talk with God, get into His Word...
Spend some of your best time with God.
And before you know it, you'll experience the peace and power of a prioritized life.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
Take the TEST:
ARE 1st THINGS 1st
"Consider your ways!" Haggai 1:5TEXT: GENESIS 19:14
Six Symptoms of Misplaced Priorities
1.___________________________________________
How to know: People who love you are saying "slow down" (1 point). You feel held hostage by time; your clock has become the enemy
(2 points). Your kids are clinging to your leg right now (2 points).
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:30
2.___________________________________________
How to know: You are uptight, experiencing chest pains, having trouble sleeping (2 points). You are restless, uneasy (2 points). It's hard to make decisions (1 point). You're not very happy (3 points). You have a feeling of being totally worn out (4 points).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
3.___________________________________________
How to know: You feel bad about yourself, unfulfilled. There are a lot
of things you know are important (that you even tell others to do), that you're not doing. It's getting to you, robbing you of peace, and you're feeling like a hypocrite (5 points).
“let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” Hebrews 10:22
4.___________________________________________
How to know: Money's tight for you. Credit card bills are piling up, and debt continues to rise (5 points). There always seems to be too much "month" left at the end of the money (3 points). A budget, to you, is a "good idea," not something you're practicing right now (3 points). You're doing research on the difference between Chapter Eleven and Chapter Thirteen (8 points). You're not giving your first portion to the Lord, and you can't see any way in the world to do it? which adds to your guilt
(5 points).
“Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never, never fail you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
5. ___________________________________________
How to know: Your prayers consist mostly of quick, one-sided conversations in the shower or the car (5 points). You pray mostly with others, but not much alone (4 points). You don't feel close to God (3 points), you feel like you're on a spiritual roller coaster (3 points). Your Bible reading is hit and miss - more miss than hit (5 points). You feel like you're drifting spiritually, but can't find time to turn things around (5 points).
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
6.___________________________________________
How to know: You find yourself finding ways to "get away," not to relax, but to escape responsibility. You're developing habits of impulse buying (2 points), thrill seeking (1 point), purposeless driving (1 point), lots of eating out (3 points), excessive television (4 points). You recently took a vacation you couldn't afford, just because you couldn't "take it" anymore (7 points).
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27
Scoring: Add your total from each category:
Excessive Busyness _______________________
Stress/Burnout __________________________
Low Grade/Nagging Guilt __________________
Mounting Financial Pressure ________________
Spiritual Leakage ________________________
Escapism Behavior ________________________
0-3 points Congratulations! You should teach a seminar.
6-15 points You're off to a good start, with only some minor corrections to make.
16-30 points It's time to make some major changes in your life. Get ready!
31-50 points The trends in your life have you headed for disaster, and you need to make radical changes.
51 + points Danger Zone! Do not proceed without getting immediate help.
As you can see, misplaced priorities can be destructive in multiple areas of our lives. Symptoms that may seem "temporary" concessions on the front end, appearing as minor aberrations, are the gateways to disaster. But don't be discouraged! God has given us clear directives on how to find genuine peace, fulfillment and productivity in our lives.
Two Commitments to Regain Balance
1. ___________________________________________
“So be careful how you live. Live as men who are wise and not foolish.
Make the best use of your time...” Ephesians 5:15-16
2. ___________________________________________
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
The New Year is a time of renewing, reevaluating, and reprioritizing. It is a time to start over again. But if you are like me, the best intentions for a new exercise regimen or a new improved devotional plan seem to fade as quickly as they are made.
So we looked at possible causes for failure, then found out “HTBAEB”
Today were going to look at six symptoms of a life that's out of balance. You see here's the deal, if your life is crazy out of whack, that impedes your witness. People look at your life and wonder if Christianity is real and that's a lifestyle controlled by God, I'm not sure I want that!
How many of you remember the story of Abraham & Lot? Gen. 13-19
Gen. 19:14 So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry his daughters. He said, "Hurry and get out of this place, because the LORD is about to destroy the city!" But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.
Lot had lived so long and so contented among ungodly people that his life reflected as one of chaos and he was not a believable witness for God.
If our lives are out of whack - we become like Lot.
So to help you evaluate your life, I want to share with you a little test that will help keep us headed in the right direction. I'm going to give you six symptoms of a life that's out of balance, and you can determine whether you identify a lot or a little with each one. By the end of the test, you'll have a good feel for whether or not you're on track.
Symptom #1: Busyness.
People who are busy are always in a hurry. Time is their enemy because they never seem to have enough of it. Are you always running out the door, arriving just in time or a little late? Is your desk or house a mess? Is your car dirty? Is it because you just don't have time?
Don't get caught in the activity trap. Remember, it's not how much you do that's important, but whether you're accomplishing the things that are really important.
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:30
Symptom #2:Stress. Burnout
Do you often feel pressure and anxiety? Do you have trouble sleeping or waking up? Are you frequently uneasy, restless, indecisive, unhappy, irritable, or worn out? Do you lack connectedness in relationships and keep conversations at a superficial level? Do you feel hopelessly overwhelmed?
Richard Swenson, a medical doctor, wrote a book in which he disusses one of the major maladies of our time - anxiety & stress. He calls it "overload," & says that people are just plain overloaded.
1. We’re overloaded with commitments. We’ve committed ourselves to go here & there, to take part in this activity & that social function. As a result we soon begin meeting ourselves coming & going because we have overloaded ourselves in the area of commitments.
2. We’re also overloaded with possessions, he says. Our closets are full, & our garages are overflowing. We’ve gone into debt to pay for all of these things that we "simply must have." And now we’re so afraid that someone will steal them. We are overloaded in the area of possessions.
3. Thirdly, we have an overload in the area of work. We get up early, fight traffic, & experience intolerable working conditions because we have to if we’re going to pay for all those possessions that we’ve accumulated.
4. There is also an information overload. He said that as a doctor he has to read 220 articles a month just to keep up with all the changes in his profession. And now with the internet there’s an information superhighway. But the problem is that we can’t possibly absorb it all. So we feel an overload in this area, too.
Those symptoms of emotional stress are all indicators that you're doing a whole lot more than God designed you to do or that you're doing it in the wrong way.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philip. 4:6 (NIV)
Symptom #3: Low Grade Nagging Guilt.
Do you feel guilty because you're not accomplishing everything you think you should? Have you stopped liking yourself? Do you feel like you don't measure up?
Nagging guilt indicates that something is wrong.
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Hebrews 10:22 (NIV)
Symptom #4: Mounting Financial Problems:
Are you spending money you don't have? Are you going out to eat because you're too tired to cook? Are you shopping because you want to feel better? Are you working harder and longer but still can't keep up with the bills? Have you stopped giving to God because you just can't afford it? Do you seem to have a hole in your checkbook?
God may be using your financial struggles to get your attention.
The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets. Proverbs 21:20 (Living)
Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never, never fail you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 (Living)
I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation, whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want; Philip. 4:12 (Living)
Symptom #5: Spiritual Leakage.
How is your devotional life? Have you set aside quality time for God, or are you running out the door in the morning and crawling into bed exhausted at night with hardly a thought drifting God's way? If you treated a friend or a spouse the way you treat God, how good would your relationship be?
Here's a funny letter to a Pastor from a member:
Dear Pastor:
You often stress attendance at worship as being very important for a Christian, but I think a person has a right to miss now and then. I think every person ought to be excused for the following reasons and the number of times indicated.
Christmas Holidays (the Sunday before & after) 2
New Years (the party lasted too long) 1
Easter (get away for the holidays) 2
July 4th (national holidays) 1
Labor Day (need to get away) 2
Memorial Day (visit hometown folk) 1
School closing (kids need a break) 1
School reopens (one last fling) 1
Family reunions (mine & wife’s) 3
Sleep late (stayed up too long Saturday night) 9
Deaths in family 2
Anniversary (second honeymoon) 1
Sickness (one per family member) 5
Business trip (a must) 1
Vacation (three to four weeks) 6
Bad weather (ice, snow, rain, clouds) 2
Ball games 2
Races 2
Unexpected company (can’t walk out) 2
Time changes (spring & fall) 2
Special on TV (superbowl, etc) 3
Pastor, that leaves two Sundays per year. So, you can count on us to be in church on the 4th Sunday in February and the 3rd Sunday in August unless we are providentially hindered.
Sincerely,
A Faithful Member
The amount of time spent with the Lord in prayer is one of the greatest indicators of where your heart is with God.
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. John 15:5 (NKJV)
Symptom #6: Escapism Behavior. Do you sit down and mindlessly watch television for hours even if there's nothing in particular you want to watch? Do you grab something from the refrigerator, even if you're not hungry? Do you go shopping even when there's nothing you need? If you're doing any activity just to turn your mind off or get away from the pressures of life, you're practicing escapism behavior. Your life is out of balance.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 (NIV)
So how did you do? If you're like me, you probably didn't score as well as you would have liked on that test. Keeping priorities in line isn't easy, and as I thought about those questions, I realized that even now my life isn't exactly where I would like it to be.
But be encouraged-everybody's priorities are constantly in flux. I don't know anybody who has their priorities perfectly together and everything in line. But wherever you are right now, you can determine in your heart that you're going to take a step in the right direction.
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:25 that “everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.” It's a process. You're not going to run a marathon the first time you put on your running shoes. But if you want to run a marathon, you have to start running.
So if your life doesn't have the balance you desire right now, let me encourage you to do two things.
First, commit yourself to taking control of your time,
because you can't control your priorities until you control your time.
“So be careful how you live. Live as men who are wise and not foolish.
Make the best use of your time...” Ephesians 5:15-16
And second, commit to giving your first and best time to God.
Even if you're not a morning person, I'd encourage you to start your day with God. If you give God the first minutes, He can transform the rest of your day through His Spirit, Who will help you discern when to say yes and when to say no.
Then also give Him your best time.
What time of the day or evening are you functioning at your best?
Whatever that is, block some of that time to talk with God, get into His Word...
Spend some of your best time with God.
And before you know it, you'll experience the peace and power of a prioritized life.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
Take the TEST:
ARE 1st THINGS 1st
"Consider your ways!" Haggai 1:5TEXT: GENESIS 19:14
Six Symptoms of Misplaced Priorities
1.___________________________________________
How to know: People who love you are saying "slow down" (1 point). You feel held hostage by time; your clock has become the enemy
(2 points). Your kids are clinging to your leg right now (2 points).
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” Matthew 11:30
2.___________________________________________
How to know: You are uptight, experiencing chest pains, having trouble sleeping (2 points). You are restless, uneasy (2 points). It's hard to make decisions (1 point). You're not very happy (3 points). You have a feeling of being totally worn out (4 points).
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
3.___________________________________________
How to know: You feel bad about yourself, unfulfilled. There are a lot
of things you know are important (that you even tell others to do), that you're not doing. It's getting to you, robbing you of peace, and you're feeling like a hypocrite (5 points).
“let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.” Hebrews 10:22
4.___________________________________________
How to know: Money's tight for you. Credit card bills are piling up, and debt continues to rise (5 points). There always seems to be too much "month" left at the end of the money (3 points). A budget, to you, is a "good idea," not something you're practicing right now (3 points). You're doing research on the difference between Chapter Eleven and Chapter Thirteen (8 points). You're not giving your first portion to the Lord, and you can't see any way in the world to do it? which adds to your guilt
(5 points).
“Stay away from the love of money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, "I will never, never fail you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
5. ___________________________________________
How to know: Your prayers consist mostly of quick, one-sided conversations in the shower or the car (5 points). You pray mostly with others, but not much alone (4 points). You don't feel close to God (3 points), you feel like you're on a spiritual roller coaster (3 points). Your Bible reading is hit and miss - more miss than hit (5 points). You feel like you're drifting spiritually, but can't find time to turn things around (5 points).
“I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
6.___________________________________________
How to know: You find yourself finding ways to "get away," not to relax, but to escape responsibility. You're developing habits of impulse buying (2 points), thrill seeking (1 point), purposeless driving (1 point), lots of eating out (3 points), excessive television (4 points). You recently took a vacation you couldn't afford, just because you couldn't "take it" anymore (7 points).
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27
Scoring: Add your total from each category:
Excessive Busyness _______________________
Stress/Burnout __________________________
Low Grade/Nagging Guilt __________________
Mounting Financial Pressure ________________
Spiritual Leakage ________________________
Escapism Behavior ________________________
0-3 points Congratulations! You should teach a seminar.
6-15 points You're off to a good start, with only some minor corrections to make.
16-30 points It's time to make some major changes in your life. Get ready!
31-50 points The trends in your life have you headed for disaster, and you need to make radical changes.
51 + points Danger Zone! Do not proceed without getting immediate help.
As you can see, misplaced priorities can be destructive in multiple areas of our lives. Symptoms that may seem "temporary" concessions on the front end, appearing as minor aberrations, are the gateways to disaster. But don't be discouraged! God has given us clear directives on how to find genuine peace, fulfillment and productivity in our lives.
Two Commitments to Regain Balance
1. ___________________________________________
“So be careful how you live. Live as men who are wise and not foolish.
Make the best use of your time...” Ephesians 5:15-16
2. ___________________________________________
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33
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