Desperately Surviving the Kids
Transition video (I work with Monkeys commercial) - new job
Well........we are in our third week of desperate households. This week is Desperate Parenting.
I e-mailed a friend in California this week and mentioned that I was teaching on this subject this weekend.
i said this should be easy - all just give examples of everything stupid I did just this week and I’ll have the message - done.
Parenting. It is a daunting task. Our toughest job.
Our most satisfying job.
Our scariest job.
There is nothing more intimidating that looking into the eyes of a little person and realizing that his/her well-being is totally on your shoulders. Not only the simple stuff (food, clothes, a bed to sleep in) that’s easy. It’s the less simple stuff that gets you. What kind of person will she be? Will she see the good in others or enjoy the sport of locker room gossip where anybody is a target? Will he settle his arguments with patience and integrity or be quick to raise his voice or use his fists?
So what makes the difference between raising a child that makes your heart swell or breaks your heart?
Is it all up in the air or do you actually influence the outcome? Prov. 22:6 has this to say ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
That sure indicates to me that we have a whole lot to do with the type of adults our kids become. So, what is the first step to raising adults. Expand (Not children, adults)
The very first and very hard step is to see your children realistically. This is very hard. Something happens to us when they are born. It’s like these parent eyes are implanted over our regular eyes and all of a sudden we see things about our children very differently than we thought we would before we had children. Do you remember before you had children and you would watch other people (at a restaurant, family, at the grocery store) with their children and you use to say..............& you did this, we all did.........’I would never.....’ Do you remember the first day that you realized you just did one of your I will nevers? And unless your paying attention, it may slip under your radar, until you do it the second or tenth time!
Parents, let’s face it - we really are blind. We just don’t see when these perfect, wonderful little darlings are playing us like a finely tuned instrument! I work at a private school and it is my job to enroll new students. But we have a selective enrollment process and one of the criteria would be that incoming students have grades of a certain standard or higher. Expand on parents handing report cards or telling of no discipline issues while you are on the phone with the other school. -
Parent eyes
Off the hook - born little boogers
Expand with looking at the ‘we corrupt them point of view’.
Proof that you get to get off the hook.
Genesis 8:21b every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood
1. See your kids realistically.
Realize that when your little sweet darling is batting her eyes at you she is not being sweet and cute she is manipulating you and your falling for it! Realize that those funny little white lies turn into big ugly ones.
Remember that if we aren’t realistic about where our kids are we cannot be a support to them.
2. Discipline accordingly
Let your discipline be appropriate. Evaluate the issue - where was the heart? Was this an honest mistake moment, a I made a mistake and then thought I would get in big trouble and tried to cover it up moment, or an I did it - I knew I did it and I was hoping like heck to not get get caught or to get away with it moment?
Proverbs 29:17
17 Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul
Discipline, when done right, is not only good, it is expected. The Bible has a lot to say about disciplining our children and it is very clear that God expect us to do so. If fact Proverbs 13:24 says, ‘A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
Never discipline in anger - tell story
3. See yourself realistically
Surround yourself with people whose opinion you value and trust. Allow them to speak truth into your life.
Explain spanking video w/ Brie and
How many of us would chose to never speak to that person again?
4. Listen with humility
Eph 4:2-3 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
You have to allow others to speak the truth in love to you. The issue is ‘how are they speaking’?
Ideas of where, building real relationship
Allow God to speak to you through others
Mark 2:2-4 A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. He was teaching the Word. 3They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. 4When they weren't able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher.
5. Allow others to take you to Jesus, be available to be carried
6. Be a stretcher bearer
With the friends we just spoke of &with your kids.
Take your kids to the feet of Jesus. Explain biblical principal to them. Remember the scripture we looked at earlier?
Pr. 22:6 ‘Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.’
This is part of that training.
Tell story of fruit.
She needed to be lead to Jesus. That is my primary job as a parent - to lead my kids to Jesus.
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