The Power of Your Words

Video Highlights from "The Power of Your Words"

Today, what I want to do is I want to talk to you about the power of your words.
Think about this: In the beginning, was the word and the word was with God.  And the word was God.  And the word became flesh.  Whenever God created the world, he did it with the spoken word; our words are incredibly powerful.
                         In fact, Solomon said this about our words in Proverbs 18:21, he said, "The tongue has massive power."  What kind of power does the tongue have?
               He said, "The tongue has the power of life and of death."  Again...  The tongue has the power of life and of death."  In other words, the words that we speak, can be life-giving words or the words we speak can be life-taking words.
 "If you want to change the life you have, you need to change the words you speak."
James said this a long time before I did. If you're not a church person, you may not know who James is. James is actually the brother of Jesus.  And some scholars believe that James is the best evidence in the divinity of Christ.  How do I know that?  Because, imagine this:  What would your brother have to do to convince you that he was the son of God?  Think about that.  Okay?  If James thought Jesus was the son of God, that's pretty good evidence, if you ask me.  This is what James, the brother of Jesus, said, in chapter 3, verses 3 through 5, he talked about how small things can make a big difference.  He said, "We can make a" what size horse?  He said, "We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of" a what?  "By means of a small bit in his mouth.'  A little small bit can move a large horse, because small things can make a big difference.  And then he talked about a huge ship, and he said, "a what size rutter"?
               "A little small rutter makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong."  Small things can make a big difference.
                         And then he continued in this line of thinking, talking about the power of our words and the power of our tongue.  He said, "In the same way, the tongue is" what?  "It is a small thing that can make grand speeches."  
In other words, a well crafted speech can move a crowd to do massively good things.  The flip side is true as well.  "But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire."  There is power of life and death in our words.  You can speak life-giving words or life-taking words.
                         For example, if you show me a marriage that is struggling, I can guarantee you what we'll see will be a lot of life-taking words.  On the other hand, you show me a marriage that's doing well, and I promise you, you will see an abundance of life-giving words.
 You take somebody that you don't like to be around, they makes you feel small and unimportant, maybe you've had a boss thats demeaning, what you'll find is an abundance of life-taking words.  On the other hand, there's someone that you love to be around, they build you up, what you're going to see is plenty of life-giving words.
Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, he contrasted, many times, the difference between life giving and life-taking words.  Let's look at two scriptures.  Proverbs
12:18.  He said, "The words of the reckless", what do they do? "They pierce like swords."  I bet every single one of you have been pierced before by life-taking words, but the tongue of the wise" does what?  It brings healing, it's life giving.
                         Someone can give you just the proper word at the right time and you're like, "oh, that's all I needed to go on."  It's life giving.  Then he says in Proverbs 15:4, he says, "The soothing tongue is a" what?  It's "a tree of life." It's life giving.  But on the other hand, "a perverse tongue" does what?  "It crushes the Spirit."  I don't know how many of you have had your spirit crushed by life-taking words.  My guess is almost everybody has, at some point.  It can be as meaningless as when someone looks at you and says, "Did you mean to do that to your hair?"  You're like, "Oh, you don't
like it?  I just got it done.  I paid a lot of money for that."  You know? (thats only happened to me a couple of times)  Or like, "Why aren't you married at this age in your life?"  You're like, "Shut up and get out of my face right now."  And they hurt you.  Or it could be something much more intentional, "I can't stand you," "I found someone else," "I never loved you anyway," "you're pathetic," or "I wish I never had you."  Life-taking words pierces like a sword,
crushes the spirit.
                         On the other hand, many of you have been blessed by life-giving words.  "Man, I'm so proud of you," "you're the best of the best," "I'd marry you all over again," "you're my dream come true," "I'm so thankful God put you in my life." And that just builds you up.  There's something about
 life-giving words.  It's healing to the soul.
                         when my girls were young, I’d come home from work and theyd be sitting in front of TV or doing something in the house together - I’d walk over to them and with the look of amazement I’d say “Hey wait you live here? You live in this house too? I get to live with these 2 amazing girls? WOW!” and theyd giggle & we would play for a bit. As theyve gotten older I would and still do speak to the positive traits in their lives. Tell them how amazing they are.
With Cathleen, well she has many many amazing traits that I will compliment her on. One of those I noticed early in our marriage is her incredible work ethic. She is tops when it comes to whatever she does in the work place. Early in our marriage I would often tell her, “Youre the bestest worker ever”
No matter what she was doing she is one of those people that rises to the top. , there's something about life-giving words.
                            What I want to do is help you audit your words and ask yourself, "Are you speaking more life-giving words or life-taking words to other people?"  And then I want you to think about the words you speak to yourself.  Okay?  Let's start with other people. on a scale 1 through 10.  If you speak more  life-taking words, you know, "you didn't do a good job," "why is your room a mess," "I can't stand that," "you always leave the toilet lid up," "you're pathetic," "you make me crazy," "you drive me nuts," "you know, I wish I'd never", whatever. If that's you, I want you to put a 1, 2, 3, 4, something down there.
                         If on the other hand, you speak more life-giving words, "I'm so proud of you," "You're the best husband," "I thank God for you", "Man, that was an incredible meal," "you're doing a great job,"  "You're an incredible employee," "I'm so glad I hired you," I want you to take a moment and be real honest and circle what you think represents your words with others.  Go ahead and do it right now.  I want to see  everybody doing this; this is important.
                         And then, let's talk about our words to ourselves. Are your words to yourselves more life taking or more life giving?  Think about your inner talk, what you say in your mind.  Do you say more life-taking words like, "Man, you're going to blow this," "you're no good," "Your life's always going to be bad," "This is going to be a tough day," "Oh, my gosh, I'm so tired," "Things never work out for me, I never get the breaks."  If that's you, put a lower number.
                         If on the other hand, you say, "You know what?  God is with me.  God is going to bless me."  "I'm so thankful for this day.  We're going to nail it.  This is going to be great. With Christ I can do all things who gives me strength," then put a higher number.
Here’s a question: How many of you speak more life-giving words to others than you do to yourself?  I'm just curious. To others than you do to yourself?  Kind of what I thought. Okay?
If you didn't put a 10 on both of these, guess what?
               There is tremendous room for improvement.  Why?  Because there is power in our words.  If you want to change the life you have, change the words you speak.  You make some small changes in the words you speak, and that will make big difference in the life that you have.  Our words have the power of life and our words have the power of death.  So let me give you two very very powerful rules about life-giving words.
                         The first one, I'm going to sound like your mama, with no apologizes at all, because you're mama was right when she said,
"If you can't say something helpful, skip it.  Don't say anything at all."
If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  Skip it.  The Apostle Paul said it this way in Ephesians 4:29.  He said, "Do not let any" what?   Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only" what kind of talk?  The kind of talk that is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  
Man, if that doesn't convict some of you, you're not paying attention.  Do not let anything unwholesome come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building others up.  Some of you, if you just applied this one verse to your life, to your marriage, to your parenting, to your work relationships, to your friendships, then your whole time at church was incredibly worthwhile.  Okay?  The King James Version says this:  "If you can't say something helpful, shut thy trap."  It doesn't really say that, but it should.  Okay?  Shut your mouth.  And do not elbow your spouse.  Do not elbow your spouse.  Don't do like this.  Okay?  Because if you're elbowing it, you need to elbow yourself.  I'm talking to you.  Okay?  You need to hear this.  If you can't say something helpful, skip it, close it, bite it, zip it, don't say anything at all.  Very simple, very direct.
                         The second rule --    Number two, if you think something good, say it.  If you think something good, say it.  This is a rule that I try to apply and live out anytime I think something good about someone else, about God, about myself, about my circumstances, I want to give it life by saying it.  In fact, Proverbs 16:24 says, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb.  They are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."  Notice Solomon did not say, "Gracious thoughts are like a honeycomb."  What did he say?  "Gracious words," not thoughts.  See, I can have a good thought about you.  You're like, "What are you doing?"  [looking around] "What are you doing?"  "Thinking about you." Well, that doesn't mean anything.
But if I set it free then the words have the power to give life and bless.
                        Words are so powerful.  Words are so powerful.
               When you think something good, send a text, post the comment, write the note, pick up the phone and call them.  Say it to them.
Tell them every single time-- make it a rule.  Make it a rule. You want to change your relationships?  Every time you think something good, say it.  Make it a rule.  Don't ever hold a blessing back.  Why rob anyone else from a blessing of giving them life?  Every time you think it, say it.
                         And not just to other people, but say it to yourself.  Because, if you look at your word audit, many of you are saying very negative things to yourself.  You're speaking life-taking words to yourself.  Why would you ever want to do that?  Okay?
                         David (King, Psalmist)-- I love looking at his story -- one time,  when he was worried that he was going to be killed, he spoke life-giving words to himself.  In fact, the text says "David  encouraged himself in the Lord, his God."  I love this.  He  encouraged himself.
                         Every now and then, I just have to preach to myself. I don't know about you but I need to tell myself, "God, you'll give me faith for this.  God, I believe that your hand is upon me.  God, I believe that you're working in all things to bring about good because I love you and I'm called according to your purpose."  Every now and then, you just have to speak to yourself and encourage yourself with words of life and affirmation, encouraging yourself, not just that you can do it, but that God can do it through you.  Encourage yourself in the things of the Lord.

Part 2 of this series Cathleen gave us a great measuring stick when it comes to the idea of small things, big difference. She asked us to use the fruit of the Spirit as a barometer - she did it with our thoughts. This week lets walk through that exercise with our words:
Are your words loving? Are you speaking tender hearted loving words to others? To yourself?
Are your words joyful? Life giving joy or life taking sorrow?
Are your words peaceful? Are they soothing or pouring gasoline on the fire?
Are your words carefully, patiently thought through before spoken? Or immediately spew heat?
Are your words kind? Are they good?
Do they demonstrate faithfulness and perseverance that God really has this under control?
Are your words gentle? Speaking the truth in love?
When you speak are you showing self control or after they are spoken do you think oh man I shouldn't have said that?
What a great tool for us to use with the words we speak. Who knew God’s Word could be so helpful in our everyday going about life ways? Well… you did, didnt you?

                    in week number one, I asked you to focus in on one small thing.  What did we talk about?  Having one word that would drive and direct the rest of this year.  Last week, Cathleen talked about having one thought that would drive and direct the rest of this year.  This week, I want to talk to you about having one statement.  One statement, that you say again and again and again and again, that will drive and direct the rest of this year.  One small statement that can make a big difference in
 the way you live.
                         Now, I know what some of you are thinking, some of  you are thinking, "Can my thought be my statement?"  And the answer is "of course, but it can't stay a thought, it has to become a statement."  Not only do we think about things that are lovely, pure, admirable and excellent, but we also give life to it by taking our life- giving thoughts and making them life-giving words.
                         For example, my one word is "Change."  My one thought  is from Is. 54:2, and that is "I will do my best to create the change needed."  And so I can honestly tell you, with integrity, I've said that out loud over and over and over again.  Why?  Because I'm so spun up, I can't shut my mind down.  Actually, that's not true.  I can shut my mind down because that's the way I want it.  Okay?  "I will do my best to create the change needed." I've said it again and again and again, because I will be better  in the things that matter, and will have a stronger impact when I'm doing it out of his power and not in  my own efforts.  I will do my best to enter into this new season.  I can't  tell you what one small statement again and again and again,  how big of a difference it can make in your life.
                         One statement.  Don't miss the power of this.  It's the small things that no one's sees that result in the big things that everyone wants.  If you want to change the life you have, change the words you speak, because words are powerful.  They have the power of life and of death. We don't speak life-taking words to others.
   We speak life-giving words to others.  We don't speak life-taking words to ourselves, we encourage ourselves in the Lord.  If we think something that's not good, we're going to skip it.  We're going to bite it.  Every time,  though, we think something good, we're going to give life to it, and we're going to say it and we're going to bless others in what we say.  We're not going to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  Why?  Because our words matter.  If we make small changes in the words we speak, it will make a big difference in the life we live.  If we want to change our world, we start by changing our words.  Because it's the small things that no one sees that result in the big things that everyone wants.
               And our words will glorify God, improve our relationships and make us more like Christ because that's the way we want it. And thats the way God wants it.

To view or listen to the entire series, "small things, BIG Difference"
go to Focus Church Media Page.